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Should my man take a hike?

My boyfriend is living with me.He only pays for groceries but only about half the time and when we go out.He has a house(He pays morgage) which his ex and his child live in and they don't want to sell it cause of the economy right now. He has a kid as well, who comes over on the weekends and then I end up watching his kid cause he gets a headache or what ever the excuse is. Which I don't mind but think its wrong.
I am stuck here taking care of a family member and want to move out to start my own home based business which means a lot to me and I can't do it here. He never wants to talk about moving cause he's "so stressed" and I feel we can't talk about anything cause he is not in the mood to talk.
I feel like I am being taken advantage of. He wants me to cook and do his wash but I'm getting to the point where I don't even want to do that. I have my kid to take care of which is having trouble and I'm not his wife.

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 1:34 PM on Nov. 19, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (18)
  • tell him he can either talk to you or just get out. if he wont even take the time to discuss the issues than yeah he needs to go.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:36 PM on Nov. 19, 2009

  • Yea just tell him to get the fuck out. I would.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:36 PM on Nov. 19, 2009

  • If he lives with you he should be paying 1/2 of the expenses....regardless of what else he has going on. If he can't afford it, he can't afford to live with you. Tell him to go live with his parents, they'll take care of him.

    Answer by EireLass at 1:37 PM on Nov. 19, 2009

  • "I'm not his wife." That's why it's not good to live with a man if you aren't married.

    It's so much better to get involved with a man that doesn't have kids. This guy is expecting too much. Sound like you would be better off without him.

    Answer by Gailll at 1:40 PM on Nov. 19, 2009

  • I would have a very serious sit down conversion, tired or headache...whatever. Moms deal with these issues and still manage. If he doesn't agree to pay his 1/2 and abide by it once he has agreed, you are getting a good sneak peek of how things will be in the future if you were to marry. Only you can decide if this is something you are willing to accept. For example, my husband is currently facing the closure of his drycleaning biz. He has not been able to pay himself more than $500 for several years. I have stood by him picking up the slack with the promise that if things did not turn around by Dec 31st THIS year, he must close the doors and find other work. And that is exactly what must happen. I do not want to appear heartless, but the mortgage and the bills must be paid.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:43 PM on Nov. 19, 2009

  • And I mean $500 per month above.....

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:43 PM on Nov. 19, 2009

  • He IS taking advantage of you.
    If it were me I would make the guy put that house on the market no matter what! Also,clear boundries should be set that when his ds is around that he is his responsibility!
    Yo have to get tough or he will continue to wipe his feet on you.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:52 PM on Nov. 19, 2009

  • Before we got together, I didn't want to see him. I had just got out of a long time relationship who I was getting married to but he cheated on me numerous times. I told him I'm really insecure and need to get out of here and don't think that's a good idea.
    He kept telling me how much he cares for me and my son and how my son needs a fatherly figure(which is so true) and with the right person I'm so capable of being the best I can be.He also said he wanted to spend his life with me and maybe have kids and later. Now almost 2 years later, he doesn't want kids.He was a long time friend and I trusted him. I asked him Why were you attracted to me he said because I'm loyal. What the hell? Loyal? You mean I put up with shit before and he thinks I will be loyal while putting me through shit of his? It doesn't seem like anything i think is important.
    2 days ago we got in a fight and he said why cant you just .....conitinue

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:55 PM on Nov. 19, 2009

  • live my life?Isn't it supposed to be our life? I'm so depressed.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:56 PM on Nov. 19, 2009

  • Well he has to pay the mortgage I don't blame him there would destroy his credit and his child deserves to stay in his home. As for taking care of everything you are allowing him to get away with it. If you want him to pay for his own stuff make him or tell him to get out. As for his kid if he cannot care for his own child the child should not be there. You taught him what you would put up with retrain him or tell him to get out.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:00 PM on Nov. 19, 2009

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