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seperated and confused

ive been away from my sons dad for 2 monthes now and im seeing another man who is five years older than i am has a job and is ready to settle down and get married and wants to have children unlike my soon to be ex husband.

but part of me feels its going to fast my divorce isnt final yet.i have spent the night at his place and i feel like im cheating (theres no adultry law in alaska) but at the same time i really like this man he treats my son like his own in fact my son knows him better than he knows his own dad my dad loves this guy and he actully gets along with my mother all the time wich is inpossibl to do. i just dont want a repeat of my last marraige

has anyone eles been through this is this just a rebound guy,and how do you take it slower and how do you know its not going to turn into a repeat of your last relatoin ship

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 4:11 PM on Nov. 19, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (10)
  • I don't know tha there is a correct pace on a new relationship. I was in a simular boat and have been remarried for 2.5 years now. Everything happens for a reason - just make sure that you do what feels right for you and your child and the rest will fall into place.

    Best of luck - TBROOKS

    Answer by tbrooks at 4:15 PM on Nov. 19, 2009

  • Like you said, you aren't even divorced yet. Give yourself time.

    How can there be no adultry law?

    Answer by Gailll at 4:16 PM on Nov. 19, 2009

  • You aren't even divorced yet, that's messed up! My husband can do what or who he wants when the divorce is final until then he better be walking a fine line, women should be the same!

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:17 PM on Nov. 19, 2009

  • Wow, story of my life girl. I just left my boyfriend of 5 years in the beginning of October and just met a really great guy also who is older than me. Anyway, enough about me. But I can really relate with you, I think if this guy makes you happy and makes you smile, there is no harm in seeing where it could go. Of course, I would wait on making any huge steps with him (such as moving in, making babies, getting engaged) until your divorce is finalized. If you are having questions about how fast this is all moving, I would maybe take a break from him for a few days and figure out what you would like to do. Speak to him about it also. If he is really that great of a guy and cares about you, he will wait for you to figure it all out. Good luck with everything!

    Answer by PhiLLy-StyLe at 4:18 PM on Nov. 19, 2009

  • he's sleeping with all the women in town and strippers i get no child support instead he is out there at strip clubs and fucking a new girl every night i think i should at least be able to have a relatoin ship at least im not f***ing the whole town like he is.

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:20 PM on Nov. 19, 2009

  • Adultery can be used as a grounds for divorce in Alaska. Here is the law from the Alaska Legal Resource Center. I don't know if the father of your child could use adultery to try to get custody or to make the divorce more difficult by making you at fault.

    AS 25.24.050. Grounds For Divorce

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:24 PM on Nov. 19, 2009

  • I think you should take it one step at a time. First, get the divorce. Then see if the new guy still wants to work toward something long term. Some guys actually leave when a woman is available. Please be careful so your son doesn't get hurt in case it doesn't work out

    Answer by admckenzie at 4:32 PM on Nov. 19, 2009

  • You're moving too fast. It would be different if you didn't have a child, but you do. It's not fair to your child to end one marriage and suddenly begin another. All of this must be very stressful and very confusing to your son. Also, your husband's bad behavior doesn't make your behavior acceptable. It just means that it is that much more important for you to provide a consistant and stable environment for your son.

    Answer by ThrivingMom at 5:19 PM on Nov. 19, 2009

  • There is no adultry law in the state I live in I tried that on my ex and it just didn't work.

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:08 PM on Nov. 19, 2009

  • Slow down! You're moving way too fast! You've been seeing this guy less than 2 months - your son shouldn't have even met him yet. You should wait AT LEAST 6 months before introducing your son to any man you date - you need to really know a person inside and out and you can't do that in less than 2 months.
    Get your divorce first, and then start a new relationship, and then introduce him to your son after you know it's going to be a lasting long term thing. Revolving men in and out of his life is not a stable environment for a young child.

    Answer by missanc at 7:34 PM on Nov. 19, 2009

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