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My daughter's pregnant. Some advice please.

It's just me and my daughter and always has been since her my ex left when she was 4, so we've always been a little tight on money but we've coped together (she's 15). She's got a scolarship place at a school of performing arts next year and I thought finally we'd hit the jackpot...but yes. It's a school at which she would have to board at and she doesn't think she's ready for a child either. Has anyone got any advice or been through a similar situation? I'm just so confused. I know I could take on a baby, but finances would be incredibly tight.. (by the way her "boyfriend" has taken off and neither he nor his parents want anything to do with the baby)

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 6:07 PM on Nov. 19, 2009 in Teens (13-17)

Answers (17)
  • what does ur dd want to do ???1i had my youngest child at 15 and my mom was there everystep of the way .she can receive help from the state and goverment .just because she is preggo its not the end and it doesnt mean she cant go to school and become somebody .she may not be able to go to the performing arts school but hey .you can get clothes and stuff pretty cheap ...well good luck

    Answer by britme1027 at 6:10 PM on Nov. 19, 2009

  • This is tough. Do you try to help her learn responsibility and take the consequences for her actions or do you give her the best chance at a promising future?

    All you can do is support her and help her make the decision best for her, you and the little baby growing inside her.

    Good luck!

    Answer by Ati_13 at 6:12 PM on Nov. 19, 2009

  • there are options. if your daughter wants to be a mom by all means help her and support her. and i dont know your beliefs but i personally would let my daughter know that she has options.......adoption....abortion????? find out what SHE wants and go from there. these are hard decisions.....just be there for her.

    i was a teen mom and i did keep my daughter, but my best friend had her first son at 15 and chose open adoption( she can still see him but she is not mom, she is aunt)

    as for abortion i personally disagree due to the sheer amount of couples who cannot concieve and would love a baby.

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:13 PM on Nov. 19, 2009

  • I got pregnant at 16 my son is now seven and I raised him on my own. My mom gave me the boot. So I just wanted to start off by saying I think that you are amazing to offer to raise the baby.
    But if you want my personal opinion, I think that if your daughter felt as though she was responsible enough to have sex. Then she needs to be responsible for her actions. I say this because if my mom would have taken my son, I wouldn't have learned anything and I would have come back pregnant again.
    I did just fine. I have a wonderful son, and I am in my second year of college ( I am going to be a Nurse practitioner for now) Either way it is going to be tough. I wish you the best of luck. I hope this helped a little bit.

    Answer by CrystalPmom2 at 6:21 PM on Nov. 19, 2009

  • She is only 15. I think the both of you should consider abortion. A girl that young should not be guilted into adoption.

    Answer by Gailll at 6:22 PM on Nov. 19, 2009

  • Gailll I can't believe you would suggest someone murder a child.
    OP She took it upon herself to act like an adult so she needs to take responsibility in her actions like an adult. Whether she puts the child up for adoption or raises it on her own its possible.

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:27 PM on Nov. 19, 2009

  • I think its funny that daddy and his family think they can skip out, when the baby is born file a case on him (if she keeps the baby). The state will then step in and help you out with daycare and other things. If you could help her, I say thats on you, at this point my SOs mom has raised her kids and her sisters kids, its gotten ridiculous, shes now raising those kids' kids. Make sure if she keeps the child and your helping, that it is just HELP, she definitely needs to learn responsibility and not take it for granted....I agree with otherS about talking and really seeing what she wants. her life isnt OVER but it will definitely be different

    Answer by sweetstkissez22 at 6:34 PM on Nov. 19, 2009

  • i think a performing arts school is an amazing opportunity for her...i would suggest adoption. or if you are ok with it then raise the baby yourself. but i do think she needs to go to school. i dont see how the "guilt" of an adoption could even compair to the guilt of an abortion. she is so young and once she is older and wants a family and is more mature, an abortion now could really damage her in the future. im not totally anti abortion, but she is so young i would go with adoption. less harm for everyone

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:54 PM on Nov. 19, 2009

  • I would look into adoption... it's an amazing gift to give someone.
    There is always the option of abortion... but it depends on where you stand on that option.
    It doesn't sound like keeping the baby is a very good option for either of you at this point.

    Answer by AmiJanell at 7:31 PM on Nov. 19, 2009

  • So gailll it's not okay for a girl her age to be guilted into adoption but it is okay for her to be guilted into an abortion. That doesn't make sense at all and honestly you need to think before you talk because I am getting awefully damned tired of your uninformed close minded answers. OP you need to talk to your daughter, you need to explain to her how hard it is to take care of a baby and how much money it will cost not only you but her because she should have to help out by getting a job. Also if she has this baby she shouldn't go to the performing arts school, we all have to sacrifice ourselves for our children and it would be unfair to this baby if its mother was away at a boarding school. An abortion will be really hard physically and possibly emotionall, and an adoption will also be very difficult but an open adoption may be a little easier because at least she will get to see her baby. I hope the best for you two.

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:44 PM on Nov. 19, 2009

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