Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

its never okay it is

okay so if you were constantly fighting with your husband to the point where you called a break. you left to visit with family. made up in a month and had plan to come back, just waiting on the money. and you found out he was cheating but he blames you because you left. is it right??

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 11:50 PM on Nov. 19, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (13)
  • Fuck no. You didnt make him insert his dick in another woman. Fuck him find someone else. Sorry for the language.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:51 PM on Nov. 19, 2009

  • Did you cheat too...this story sounds familiar.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:53 PM on Nov. 19, 2009

  • no i left my ex husband on a separation. i gave him a straighten up gt off the drugs blah blah blah...with in a few month he had a gf and knocked her up is not ok. never ever is it ok to cheat on your husband or wife. that is what getting married is is saying this is it for one else. it was a total deal breaker for me and at the same time it made me realize it was ok for me to move on with my life. and i eventually did. and i couldnt be happier with the man i am with now.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:55 PM on Nov. 19, 2009

  • No way so not okay, yall r still married, it dont matter if it was a break he shouldnt have done that shit. U deserve better. Dont blame ur self either or give him any kind of lee way.

    Answer by Mrs.Ferri at 12:11 AM on Nov. 20, 2009

  • I think it depends. If you talked about that before you separated or not. If you didn't talk about that part first then I am not sure that you have a reason to be uspet. Men, in general tend to view separations as being free to date others, rather than just trying to work things out with their partners. They are also very likely to look for a replacement so they don't realize how miserable they might be with the person who left.

    Not that its an excuse to cheat, but just pointing out that men have different expectations of a separation that women do.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:31 AM on Nov. 20, 2009

  • Ugh, sorry that last sentence was supposed to say without the person who left, not with! It changes the whole meaning of the sentence.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:37 AM on Nov. 20, 2009

  • oh my husband would never see me again, you did not agree to see other people you just agreed to have some time apart, big difference, and you were not gone that long at all so there would be no reason for him to have gone to find someone else.

    the other question that raises in my mind, and you may not want to hear it, but is something to try and find out, was he with this other woman before the break?

    Answer by Laura_Cruz at 3:13 AM on Nov. 20, 2009

  • leave him now.

    happy, loving couples dont act like that. that is very teenager minded.

    Answer by moki1984 at 5:49 AM on Nov. 20, 2009

  • No, it is never right. I do think you have to ask yourself though if it would have happened had you been with him and all his needs were being fully met. Would he have been tempted by another woman if his wife had not been gone? Problems in marriage are never 100% the blame of one spouse and 0% the blame of the other. They is always shared blame at some level. Even when we get into arguments, the facial expressions and tone of voice that we use with one another is often a contributing factor. If said in different words or a different tone, the argument could have been avoided. Marriage is a learning situation, so if you and your husband can learn from this and forgive each other, your marriage can be better than it's ever been before. I would just encourage you to think about what you have invested so far and ask yourself if you want to throw all of that away. You loved him enough to marry him, so maybe he's a keeper.

    Answer by NannyB. at 8:29 AM on Nov. 20, 2009

  • It would be different if you were boyfriend & girlfriend. Because a seperation cah easily become more permanent if you are not married. When you are married, & you make the decision to separate for a period of time it does nto mean the relationship is over. What would have been a good idea, is if you told him that cheating is out of the question, that you guys are seperating to just clam things down a bit. But, can't go back & change it now.

    I would not be able to go back to him if he slept with another women so easily after leaving. Obviously, he had little care for your relationship. He knew that something like this would hurt you. If you slept with another man, it would have hurt him. Do noe let him blame you for his stupid actions. He knew better, he is just trying to find excuses to verify his ILL BEHAVIOR. Do not let him make YOU feel guilty. He is an asshole, plain & simple.

    Answer by samurai_chica at 8:40 AM on Nov. 20, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.