Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

How do you talk to a 12 yr old girl about this?!?!

I'm a single mother and the other day I was talking to my 12 year old daughter about boyfriends and the lack of. Then, she said "well, there's always masturbation, mom!" Now, I don't know how to proceed with the conversation. How do I talk to her and make sure she isn't getting the wrong information from her friends?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 12:47 AM on Nov. 20, 2009 in Tweens (9-12)

Answers (10)
  • try being honest, while its going to be hard she will knlow that you are respecting her enough to be open and honest which will bring yous closer

    Answer by wyattgrace at 12:55 AM on Nov. 20, 2009

  • Ask her what she knows about it, and what she knows about sex. Then you can correct any information she may have that is incorrect.
    Also make sure she knows that masturbation is very normal and perfectly fine to do in private, if that's how you feel about it. My mother kept telling me that it was dirty, and now I feel guilty every time I do it, lol. Talk about lasting effects!

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:56 AM on Nov. 20, 2009

  • OMG did you just wanna die! I would ask her where she got this info. Remember you are the adult in the conversation and she is still the child. Remind her that this is a safe conversation for you two and in the future if she has any questions about sex.... or lack there of...... to come to you. This conversation will be your launchpad for many others to come and you want her to come to you about this kinda stuff not her friends or anyone else.

    Answer by kidomom at 1:00 AM on Nov. 20, 2009

  • I took my daughter to a Planned Parenthood/Teen Scene meeting. There a lot of myths were dispelled. Both parents and teens had to participate. It was great and opened the door for us to have deeper dialogs.


    Answer by Ewadun at 5:50 AM on Nov. 20, 2009

  • I would ask her if she had any questions about it.then you can see where she is coming from on it.If she tells you things that are not true, you can tell her the truth then, on her age level.

    Answer by evelynwest at 1:12 PM on Nov. 20, 2009

  • You should tell her it is better than getting knocked up(just kidding)

    Answer by evelynwest at 1:13 PM on Nov. 20, 2009

  • OMG!! That was funny. Sorry. I really don't know how you can talk about this subject. I would ask her if she knows what masturbation means. Ask her what she has questions about, what she thinks she knows. She will be learning a lot in school during health class in the next year or so. If she already hasn't.

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 7:27 PM on Nov. 20, 2009

  • My daughter is 10 and knows all about this. I just want to add to the advice above, make sure your daughter knows that she should never touch herself with dirty hands or put anything inside herself. She is too young for that and you don't want her injuring herself.

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:21 AM on Nov. 22, 2009

  • be honest.

    but I see a GIANT RED FLAG - you were talking about "dating" and she went to sex. I think you NEED TO HAVE A TALK. If she is equating dating with sex you have to nip that in the bud RIGHT NOW.

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:41 PM on Nov. 24, 2009


    I whole heartidly agree anon :41

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:42 PM on Nov. 24, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.