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do you ever feel invisible in social situations?

It seems like whenever I talk to people at parties or social events they are always glancing around the room to try to find someone more interesting to talk to...anyone else feel like casper the friendly ghost at parties? am I really that boring? or are they just rude as hell??

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ilovedogs1967

Asked by ilovedogs1967 at 12:54 AM on Nov. 20, 2009 in Relationships

Level 4 (50 Credits)
Answers (10)
  • Be a social butterfly, talk some here and there, keep moving. If you can't find anything in common, find someone else to talk to.
    Pristine_Dream

    Answer by Pristine_Dream at 12:57 AM on Nov. 20, 2009

  • I have a tendency to let OTHER people talk and just stand there. I like to assess people before I try to talk to them. I usually end up being the quiet girl who doesn't talk. I started doing Passion Parties (no, this isn't an advertisement for my job - it's the real truth). I had to get over it if I wanted to make money and be successful. I've started to come out of my shell a little bit. I still can be the quiet girl - it takes a real conscious effort to approach people and talk to them, to NOT be intimidated by people. I started FAKING confidence but it's grown to REAL confidence. LOL, I know it sounds cliche - fake it 'til you make it but it's true! I faked it until I made it. :-D I still have moments of doubt and self-consciousness but I work to fight them. I have literally said to myself, "It's OKAY if they don't like you. You're awesome and they are missing out. But they will probably like you. You're awesome!" :-D
    Blubuni99

    Answer by Blubuni99 at 1:20 AM on Nov. 20, 2009

  • social anxiety.

    look it up. learn new tactis and ways of thinking. your over thinking their reactions more than you realize and in the end pushing ppl away a little bit with your reaction to that.
    moki1984

    Answer by moki1984 at 6:07 AM on Nov. 20, 2009

  • I used to be,now I like to meet new people!I used to be the wallflower at parties lol...now I am a social butterfly.
    Nattiesmom9603

    Answer by Nattiesmom9603 at 6:11 AM on Nov. 20, 2009

  • Yes I totally feel like that. So now i usually just avoid conversation unless someone says something to me. That doesnt bother me. Who likes being fake anyway?
    MommyTurtle1985

    Answer by MommyTurtle1985 at 6:34 AM on Nov. 20, 2009

  • Sure. I think everyone feels like that from time to time. But if it's all the time it might be something about you or something that you're doing that's making people look for an escape route.
    Kimposible

    Answer by Kimposible at 6:39 AM on Nov. 20, 2009

  • Yeah....i'm Casper too. Even when I'm with the friends that i know . I used to be way more of a social butterfuly. Somewhere down the road i became more self consious & got a lil social anxiety. Funny, because people have told me that i am intimidating & I'm like "WHAT? ME?" I'm just shy really. Someone said i can have the "don't touch me" vibe...i think their crazy. Again, I'm just shy.

    I do realize that i have social anxiety, I don't put myself out there to speak to. You have to let yourself go & get out there & just talk & laugh w/ people. I have trouble doing that. Of course, with my CLOSEST friends, i can. But at a party, if i don't know someone, i usually will steer clear of them so that i won't have to try to make up conversation. It feels like work to me sometimes, trying to talk to people that i don't know very well. It does not come naturally, i would like to change that.
    samurai_chica

    Answer by samurai_chica at 8:34 AM on Nov. 20, 2009

  • No, although I wish I was. My boss likes to hold a lot of fundraisers and since he considers me his "brain" my husband and I attend. My boss tells everyone about me and I talk with a lot of people over the phone everyday. When we go to the events people, usually guys, can't wait to meet me and want to talk your arm off. They finally get to see the face behind the voice on the phone. But in all actuality, I'm a pretty shy, keep to myself person. Like Samurai said, people find my intimidating because I'm a strong business person and when they meet me in person, I'm this short Italian coonass brunette.

    When we have events on DH's side I try to make everyone feel welcomed and at home by talking with everyone. I get paranoid and shy because I hear the whispers of other women "that's his wife" and I'm not sure how to take it. If I don't have anything to say, then I say nothing. I'm not going to make up BS convo.
    momtotrips

    Answer by momtotrips at 8:58 AM on Nov. 20, 2009

  • OMG! Ilovemydog1967 My MIL and my SIL do this to me all the time if I am not talking about something they are not interested they will do this to me sometimes I catch myself that they are not listening so I stop talking and sure enough they are not listening the are more interested in what is going on on the otherside of the room...It pisses me off and when they are bored they say things like hey you why don't you come over here and talk to us don't be a stranger. I have mentioned it to them well my SIL all she says No I don't do that....I am just glad we all don't live together it is usually only for the wkend. But I know how you feel...can YOU be my friend so we can talk....lol???

    Butterfly1108

    Answer by Butterfly1108 at 9:50 AM on Nov. 20, 2009

  • Yes, quite often. I do not have a loud voice .LOL. Everyone seems to talk over me....oh well. I am also a GOOD listener. There has to be someone who listens!!! LOL. I don't really care . I have never wanted to be the center of attention.
    Lindalu2

    Answer by Lindalu2 at 1:03 PM on Nov. 20, 2009

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