Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

What would YOU say/do?

Say you have a 16 yr old daughter. She likes a 21 yr old boy. I say boy cause he does not act mature, hold a steady job, lives at home and already has one baby from a previous girlfriend.

Would you let your daughter date him? What if she says she will continue dating him behind your back if you deny her to?

And you know she is sexually active and getting her on the pill, you'll have to make sure she takes it cause she thinks cause 2 friends got preggo on it she will too, though she does not know if they took it like they were supposed to or not!

Would you let her carry on if they both said they would not fool around sexually til she was on the pill?

I don't see what a 20 yr old sees in a child the age of 16 other then from the neck down as she has the body of a 25+ yr old woman! Mentally about 12-13, like he is NOT near 21 mentality wise.

I asked him what he saw in her other then from the neck down, and ....

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 12:59 AM on Nov. 20, 2009 in Teens (13-17)

Answers (19)
  • OP...cont'd

    He would not give me an answer and has yet to answer when asked..........I said from the neck down is the only thing I know you see......is it cause she isn't that mature? Or you're not? Cause 18 yr old plus on up to the age of 24-28 like older women, but you like a kid? I don't get it!

    He has a baby he does not have custody of, though he thinks he can get custody, but he is not stable, stays where ever or at his parents house.

    HOW can you stop them seeing each other? A friend of mine acts like she cannot stop her kid from seeing this guy and I say she can! WHY should her kid tell HER what she is going to do! SHE is the parent and needs control NOW I say.

    Any advice?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:02 AM on Nov. 20, 2009

  • ehem...... I thought the illegal age was 18. My younger brother was in this situation and the parents wanted to press charges.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:04 AM on Nov. 20, 2009

  • The state they are in is 23!

    Some girl at school is now 16 with a kid and one on the way and her fiance is now in jail cause the law is 23.

    Shame this guy is not turning 23 soon and not 21!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:06 AM on Nov. 20, 2009

  • condoms
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:08 AM on Nov. 20, 2009

  • if she is does listen to you when you tell her not to see him then I would ground her. Take away her phone (if she has one) and make her stay at home. You are still in charge. You are still the parent. Everything she has is a privilege. If she isn't willing to live by your rules while she is under your roof then she has to live with the consequences.

    Frogbaby83

    Answer by Frogbaby83 at 1:31 AM on Nov. 20, 2009

  • frogbaby ...grounding her will not help. trust me. i know.

    unfortunately there is NOT much she can do to actually stop the child from seeing the older guy. if she really wants it she will find away. saying "you're grounded" doesn't do much if she decides to sneak out of the house or ditch school etc etc.

    My mom told my sister that if she got pregnant she'd press charges. ALSO, my mom told my sister that if she got pregnant that she'd be sure to call CPS at every opportunity and that my mom would take the baby and raise it.
    This was not enough to stop my sister from sleeping around. BUT it was enough to make sure she used appropriate protection. (condoms AND bcp)
    outstandingLove

    Answer by outstandingLove at 1:45 AM on Nov. 20, 2009

  • I would be making sure she is taking her pill and using comdoms! I would try to keep her busy!
    IMAMOM2-2KIDS

    Answer by IMAMOM2-2KIDS at 1:53 AM on Nov. 20, 2009

  • no car no phone. whats she gonna do? make sure she's home after school. pick her up if you have to. this is a bad situation that she is in. you need to put a stop tp it. he sounds like a bad guy and if you dont do something her life could be in the toilet.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:42 AM on Nov. 20, 2009

  • Thanks for the replies. She is getting on the pill since she found she is active. My friend can't stop her during the day, as she is at work til near 6pm and the oldest child cannot stop her from leaving the house. But her child tells her mother when she will be home & to save an arguement or her daughter having a tantrum ( she has them and many! ) hitting her wall as she sits on her bed, talks louder on the phone in her room ( I say take it from her but then what if her kid needs her in an emergency when not at home, so she lets her keep it ) or slamming her door.

    I say her kid needs to go to see a mental health doctor, since she thinks life is better away from her, let her find out how tough the real world is....she only does the dishes once in a blue moon & she (her mom)begs her with money if she does that simple chore other then clean her room.

    I say who cares. SHE is the parent, tough love did not hurt us as kids!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:44 AM on Nov. 20, 2009

  • 23? Are you SURE? What state is this?

    Sorry you are having to deal with it. VERY difficut situation to be sure. Good luck.
    Julie411me

    Answer by Julie411me at 7:31 AM on Nov. 20, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.
close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN