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What should I do?

I went through my 14yr old's cell phone when she was sleep and it looks like she's getting text messages from a boy who's at least 17. He's out of school b/c one text asked if she had a good day at school, one was a response where he said "when I was 16". And one said "I was up this morning b/c I had to work. She's a freshman in highshcool. Right now it seems innocent, but I know all to well how innocent shit can go too far. I had her when I was 16. On one hand I want to confront her and beat the hell out of her. On the other hand, I don't want her to know that I go through her phone b/c maybe I'll be able to get more information and keep tabs on her. If she knows I'm checking behind her, she'll just erase more stuff. Also she got a text from her best friend saying she was ditching school and asking if she wanted to come. I know her friends mom and I'm tempted to let her know her kid's playing hooky. How would you handle it?

 
Dmommy4

Asked by Dmommy4 at 7:38 AM on Nov. 20, 2009 in Teens (13-17)

Level 9 (315 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (5)
  • I agree with anonn 7:43, yo have to put more restirictions on her and getting her involed is a good idea, kids who are involved tend to not get in trouble as much...just remember she is your daughter and its your responsibility to guide her and not be her best friend as hard as that can be, they are gonna "hate" you at some point but its not really hate, she WILL get over it and one day look back and thank you for having her best interest at heart. i wish my parents had been a little mre strict with me now that i look back. and i would say dont let her know what you already know...or that you went in her phone. if it gets bad enough, i'd let her only have a phone for emergencies...i think the whole cell thing is out of control anyhow these days. we all made it thru life with out a cell phone until now right? how about letting her get a job? that could teach her reponsibility, and she could earn money too.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:23 AM on Nov. 20, 2009

  • She's heading down a dangerous road, she's still young enough to be helped at this point, I'd put the brakes on a lot for now and have more restrictions, and be consistent and in her business you have to push and be involved everyway you can now, and try to get her in sports or extra activities if you can that will keep her occupied and get her mind onto something else. I was a rebellious teen, I had a great mother who did teach me right, but I made horrible choices back then, so this advice is given by someone who's been where your daughter is heading.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:43 AM on Nov. 20, 2009

  • maybe say something like "its funny, i could've swore i saw your friend leaving school as though she was skipping the other day, i hope you don't ever do that...i'm thinking of telling her mother" just see what her reaction would be.

    maybe if you were to get in more involved with the school she would be afraid you would hear more from teachers about the "buzz" going on.
    shay1130

    Answer by shay1130 at 8:25 AM on Nov. 20, 2009

  • Distract her with volunteering. Sign her up to volunteer with a local hospital! If she is too busy she won't get into trouble. :)
    SusieD250

    Answer by SusieD250 at 9:34 AM on Nov. 20, 2009

  • My youngest is 17 yo, junior in hs. SusieD250 is right on with her advice and the others too. Put her in scouts, 4H, volunteer at a food pantry, public libraries too have groups.

    I snoop now and did when my older kids were younger, they're in their twenties. My house my rules hindsight sucks big time in a fatality or near fatality. Going one time to a teen's funeral is a big impact on a parent although not on a surviving teen.
    lfl

    Answer by lfl at 10:16 AM on Nov. 20, 2009

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