Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

I want to take a poll...Can you be "just friends" with an ex that you slept with and had/have feelings for?

Just curious what you ladies think. I personally don't think you can be just friends without one or the other either wanting more, it bringing back old feelings, or it leading to sex or one person "thinking" they can get sex from the other.
I've tried being friends with mine. One drove me nuts wanting to get back constantly made sexual remarks and thought it was ok...and one had a new gf and was trying to get me to come over and send dirty pics and when I said "Uh no you have a gf?", all they said was "oh we've done it before so it wouldn't be cheating".
So I am just curious what other people think about this matter. Thanks :)

Answer Question

Asked by misspriss_1987 at 11:03 AM on Nov. 20, 2009 in Relationships

Level 13 (955 Credits)
Answers (18)
  • i think you can. i have kids with the ex and we are very good friends. we were married for 10 years.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:08 AM on Nov. 20, 2009

  • Yes. My husband and I both have exes as friends; in fact one of my exes became one of his best friends.

    Answer by rkoloms at 11:09 AM on Nov. 20, 2009

  • No, they always end up wanting more

    Answer by Shyma at 11:10 AM on Nov. 20, 2009

  • Yes, I think it is possible. I have an old friend that I have known for about 11 yrs, we used to have an off and on relationship, and now we are just friends. We never talk about our past relationship, except for the occasional, "hey do you remember", but it's never anything about sex or the actual relationship, it's like "do you remember when so and so did this?". We used to have some pretty strong feelings for each other, but it's been clear for some years now that since we didn't make it work before, there's no point bringing them up anymore. I've moved on, I have a new boyfriend, and my friend says he is happy for me, and never brings up his old feelings for me. Does he still have them? I don't know, but if he does, he respects me and my boyfriend enough that he keeps them to himself. If you can respect each other enough to handle it (similar to the way we do), then you can be just friends.

    Answer by tropicalmama at 11:16 AM on Nov. 20, 2009

  • I am currently friends with a guy I dated years ago. It was tense shortly after we broke up, but we put it behind us, and have been good friends ever since. We talk on the phone at least once a week. I moved from the state we both lived in, then he moved to another state, so we only meet up about once a year now. We've known each other 14 years.

    Answer by NightPhoenix at 11:17 AM on Nov. 20, 2009

  • No way.

    Answer by mompam at 11:20 AM on Nov. 20, 2009

  • Only if you know for sure that you do not want anything from them and that you would NEVER go back with them again.. otherwise there is always temptation

    Answer by TaiM at 11:37 AM on Nov. 20, 2009

  • I always say where there was smoke there is a potential for fire. I am sure it can be done, I have never done it though and I don't think I can.

    Answer by older at 11:49 AM on Nov. 20, 2009

  • I think you can. I am still very good friends with the guy I lost my virginity too when I was 16. He has a serious long time gf and I am married and pregnant. There's not weirdness or lingering feelings between us.

    Answer by jedwards2009 at 11:53 AM on Nov. 20, 2009

  • My high school boyfriend and I are extremely good friends now. We couldn't talk to each other immediately after the break up, but within 2 years, we were friends again. There isn't anything else there but a close friendship.

    Answer by asaffell at 12:07 PM on Nov. 20, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.