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Why am I so stupid!!!

This morning my grumpy DS 16 who hates getting up in the morning was a total ass to me. The first time I wet to wake him he yelled at me "get out of here" the second time , he yelled again the third time he yelled once again. The fourth time I grabbed the covers and pulled them off him and the bed. He yelled once again. Then I did the unthinkable. When dropping him off at school he asked if I had the money I was going to give him for his after school activity. I thought about it and gave him 20 bucks and said here "this is for treating me like shit this morning" Why am I so STUPID?

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Asked by dillonsma at 11:59 AM on Nov. 20, 2009 in Teens (13-17)

Level 5 (81 Credits)
Answers (11)
  • How is that stupid? I think at 16 he is old enough to hear a curse word and be told how was acting was rude and rotten. I think what you said was probably more effective than yelling at him all the way to school.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:02 PM on Nov. 20, 2009

  • You are not stupid but a loving mom! You sound like me, but next time arm yourself with a water gun to get him out of bed, it works like a charm!

    Answer by older at 12:02 PM on Nov. 20, 2009

  • i think she means giving him $, depending on how i felt about it..i would have told him to go fly a kite if you know what i mean...he needs to apologize for being sooo nasty to his mother! Is this what im in for?

    Answer by guitarmom101 at 12:06 PM on Nov. 20, 2009

  • At 16 he can get himself out of bed and to school in the morning. Don't fight or argue. This evening tell him that you are going to start treating him like a mature teen. If he can't get himself up and moving, he will suffer the consequences imposed by his school.

    Answer by rkoloms at 12:07 PM on Nov. 20, 2009

  • What part are you referring to as being stupid? Giving him money or letting him treat you that way? I honestly hope my kids never treat me that way. I'm sure it will happen sooner or later. But, I would not put up with it at all. We are there mothers! We do everything for them! I would buy him an alarm clock and say here ya go set the time and tell him your not getting him up. When it goes off he needs to get up. Tell him your leaving the house at 7ish and if he is not ready he is staying home and he can deal with it. Tell him he will have to stay in his room all day. No TV no Phone No computer. No radio. I think by law he can miss 8 days of school. You have to teach him some responsibility. And you have teach him to respect you and other people. He is probably going to laugh at you but, don't let it get to you. Once he finds out your serious he will start taking you seriously.


    Answer by smarie1011 at 12:08 PM on Nov. 20, 2009

  • They sure do know how to push our buttons, don't they? I think I have done very similar stuff. I think my ds noticed, (at least some of the time) and appreciates me more NOW. He's gonna be 19 in a few weeks. Hang in there gets a little worse, but it does get better. I always, always always talked to my son about hormones making you do "stupid" things, and yelling at mom like that is one of them!!!!! amarie's answer is very good too! Hugs to you!!!

    Answer by kjrn79 at 12:18 PM on Nov. 20, 2009

  • Ladies I think I am stupid for giving him the money??? I should have said " you cant go because of the way you treated me this morning" But no, stupid me gave the money and said "this is for treating me like shit" Stupid Stupid Stupid.

    Answer by dillonsma at 1:25 PM on Nov. 20, 2009

  • If it was a school thing then I would have given him the money too and probably have said something similar but if it was to go somewhere with friends after school I probably would not have given him the money. I say probably because DS is also 16- coincidentally also a Dylan- and generally a good kid, so sometimes I give in. Those damn hormones get the best of all teens sometimes and we just have to knock some sense back into them! (No I don't hit my DS I meant it figuratively!)

    Answer by goaliemom93 at 6:08 PM on Nov. 20, 2009

  • Beacause you want to be his friend and you aren't. First off, just for yelling at you for getting him up for school he should have been grounded. Period. You allowed him to talk nastily to you and then you showed your acceptance by handing him $20 to go out. Is that money he earned by doing chores or money you just handed over to him because he is somehow entiled to it? At 16 my sons earned an allowance bu doing extra chores, they got $20 every 2 weeks and I paid their cell phone bills. All they had for going out was the $20 they earned and they learned to spend it wisely. The year they started the 11th grade they started working pt and we stopped handing them money to go out with. They have learned to appreciate the cost of things now that they pay for them themselves. We provide a roof, their food, anything school related and the extras within the house (cable and Internet). Your son needs to learn to be respectful.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:30 PM on Nov. 20, 2009

  • At Christmas give some rock in his stocking. Put a note in their and that say s "This for treating your mom rudely." Teach him a lesson, to have greater respect for you.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:29 PM on Nov. 21, 2009

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