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i am the stepmom.........

thier mom takes them to mexico for christmas every year. my husband NEVER has his kids for any holiday. and i mean i cant think of any holiday that we have had the kids in our home. not easter, thanksgiving, even halloween. and they are never even in the country for christmas. how can i talk to their mom and try to change things a little for next year?

Answer Question

Asked by cassie_m at 1:41 PM on Nov. 20, 2009 in General Parenting

Level 20 (8,331 Credits)
Answers (12)
  • You need to go through the courts if she is unwilling to budge. A holiday schedule can be adapted and enforced so that there are equal holidays shared by both parents (assuming your husband has formal custody, if he doesnt then there isnt much you can do) I get Mothers Day & my bday every year, their father gets fathers day & his birthday every year and then I get the kids every holiday in the odd years (07, 09...) and he gets them every holiday in the even years. It works great to be able to plan future holidays knowing where my kids will be

    Answer by Jaydin_Makenna at 1:45 PM on Nov. 20, 2009

  • they have never had courts involved. but she did have him sign a thing saying she had 51% of custody so that she would have control.

    Answer by cassie_m at 1:50 PM on Nov. 20, 2009

  • Get the courts involved and get a reasonable custody/visitation schedule in place so that you have at least some of the holidays, or at least get to see them on the holidays - that's not fair!

    Answer by missanc at 2:08 PM on Nov. 20, 2009

  • If HE wants them for a holiday then HE is going to have to take it to court. He signed that paper, so he's going to have a long haul (potentially) to getting it changed. HE needs to talk to a lawyer, but usually the non-custodial parent gets every other holiday (I mean Christmas one year, not the next, yes the following, etc)

    YOU can't do anything. HE has to do it.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:09 PM on Nov. 20, 2009

  • Ditto anon :09. This is for your husband to deal with, if that is what he wants.

    Answer by gramsmom at 2:24 PM on Nov. 20, 2009

  • Maybe it is what HE wants and HE asked her to ask for advice on here. That's what my hubby does. Don't jump to conclusions. Some of you can be such assholes sometimes.

    Answer by ABryn1011 at 3:01 PM on Nov. 20, 2009

  • You are the step parent it is not your place to say anything!! Just stay out of it, it is your husbands business-- I wouldn't approach her about it, again not your place

    Answer by blue_glass_mama at 3:03 PM on Nov. 20, 2009

  • It is her place step parent or not! The word PARENT is in there! If you have the kind of relationship that you can talk to her go ahead, but if she had him sign a paper so she has the upper hand it will probably be hard. I would suggest your hubby go to court. Thats the only REAL way he will be gaurented to get them! and yes it is your place! if you care about those kids or your husband its YOUR place! good luck!

    Answer by babymaddy at 3:07 PM on Nov. 20, 2009

  • OP, what court did he go to? He just signed his kids away without even reading the fine print? Even when one parent has more rights over the children, they still take holidays into consideration in EVERY custody case. All he has to do is go into court & demand holiday visitation. He most likely will not even need a lawyer. Anybody & everybody i know shares their kids for the holidays (unless one parent is totally out of the picture) There is no such thing as 51% custodym and even if there was...that means he has 41% custody which means he can go to court & demans visitation on holidays. But at :09 said, this is something he is going to have to do.

    He could also just ask their mother, is he afraid of her? Or does he not want his kids for the holidays?

    Answer by samurai_chica at 3:15 PM on Nov. 20, 2009

  • 49%...

    Answer by samurai_chica at 3:16 PM on Nov. 20, 2009

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