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How can I handle my in-laws remarks towards my parenting?

With every visit I am left feeling anxious and frustrated towards my mother n-law's comments. I react in a way that is offensive and I am upset at her consistant imput. Need to find a way to be loving and upfront, without her getting offended.

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manyblessings2

Asked by manyblessings2 at 3:35 PM on Nov. 20, 2009 in Relationships

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Answers (7)
  • Sorry but I'd tell them thank you but you are a great parent and would love their advice when you ask for it, and if they are consisten say thank you but you need to mind your own business I can handle my child. That's just me, I get offended though, and let it be known, in a nice way when I have to.
    MommaRox4683

    Answer by MommaRox4683 at 3:38 PM on Nov. 20, 2009

  • Well if you just can't let it go on anymore, and you're at the end of your rope, then honesty is the best policy. Something gentle like "I know you love your grandchildren, and you just want what's best for them, but believe me I do to. Sometimes you say things that are really hurtful about my parenting and I really wish you'd be a little more sensitive about how you are making me feel when you say these things. I am doing my very best, and I have good kids, so there is really no need to be so critical." Or something like that...
    beckcorc

    Answer by beckcorc at 3:39 PM on Nov. 20, 2009

  • Just as long as you know you are a good mother don't even worry about it just smile and agree with them, that will sooner or later shut them up.
    Butterfly1108

    Answer by Butterfly1108 at 3:40 PM on Nov. 20, 2009

  • Just let her say what she needs to say, you don't need to follow advice. If it is something that she won't let up on just tell her you appreciate her concern but your DR or whomever recomends that you do it your way.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:41 PM on Nov. 20, 2009

  • Just say "I understand you want to give advice but I'm the mother here and I'm doing what I feel is best." It is easy to snap and behave in an offensive way, as you were saying earlier. But as you already know, it doesn't help. If your MIL is anything like mine, you can sugarcoat it as much as you want, it won't matter. She thinks her way is the only way. She is being rude with no concern at all for your feelings or the fact that she is grandmother and that role gives her no right to interfere. Just say the above line or something like it as politely as possible and know no matter what fit she throws or if it continues, you're a good mother.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:19 PM on Nov. 20, 2009

  • Yes, sometimes the inlaws like to give 'advice' or make parenting comments wether it is welcome or not. Sometimes they really do mean well and are trying to offer you their wisdom.... and other times it can be highly annoying to feel criticized. When my mil would give me unwanted advice I would say "thank you, but I prefer to ......" another good one was to say "my doctor says...... "
    If she keeps up with the comments you may have to just be blunt and tell her that you have had it with her constant remarks and she needs to stop. Remind her that you are the mother and you will do things your way.
    good luck!
    Good luck.
    MizLee

    Answer by MizLee at 4:20 PM on Nov. 20, 2009

  • I'd just say that You had your turn to do it your way. This is my opportunity to do it my way and I'd like for you to respect it.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 4:57 PM on Nov. 20, 2009

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