Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

do you think there is acual benefit to holding a kid back a year before letting them start school?

my son is 4 and is supposed to start school next year. my husband wants to hold him back another year before starting him in kindergarten bet im not so sure. any thoughts on this? has anyone else started there kid in school later?

Answer Question

Asked by wtigers83 at 8:45 PM on Nov. 20, 2009 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (14)
  • Did he go to pre-k? Will he be five before the next school year? If so I don't see any reason to hold him back. Once he is in Kindergartenthey will work with him and teach him everything he needs to know in order to go to the first grade. if they feel he is not ready for the first grade they will hold him back. I think you should givehim  the opportunity to try and I betcha he was succeed.


    Answer by smarie1011 at 8:55 PM on Nov. 20, 2009

  • What is the reason for holding him back? Is it behavior, any delay in any area? What is making your husband even consider holding him back?

    Answer by bebita at 9:02 PM on Nov. 20, 2009

  • my son has no delay or behavior prob and will be 5 in june. my husband wants to hold him back because he seems to think that it would be better for sports and extra curricular activities. my son is advanced as far as smarts and social skils go so i dont think we should hold him back but he seems to think(and is pretty adimant) on waiting till he is 6 to start kindergarden. he didnt go to pre k or anything

    Answer by wtigers83 at 9:47 PM on Nov. 20, 2009

  • Some kids (especially boys) really are not mature enough to start school at 5. Others may not be ready socially or academically, especially children with birthdays close to the cut off date.

    Many scholars, and schools in other countries believe in the theory of "better late than early". In some countries they don't have children begin formal education until the age of 7. For many children, delaying Kindergarten 1 year can be extremely beneficial to them, now just for their school career, but for their life overall.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:19 PM on Nov. 20, 2009

  • I don't believe in holding kids back. They're just going to be the oldest in their class and that's not a good thing. Sure they're going to be bigger and have an advantage in sports but they're also going to be dealing with kids who are younger. They're going to see all the other 18 year olds going off to college while they're still stuck in HS. If he decides to have sex with his girlfriend in his senior year he could wind up on the sex offender registry if he's 18 or 19 and she's 17. It would also be bad for the other kids in his year.

    I used to teach in a kindergarten classroom with one student who was 7 years old. No delays, his parents just held him way back. He was the biggest kid in his class and bored with the work, bored during gym class, just generally ahead of his class mates and that made him act out.

    Answer by RhondaVeggie at 10:48 PM on Nov. 20, 2009

  • I won't be holding my DD back. She'll turn 5 in August and she will start Kindergarten. She's only 3 now, but she's developing beautifully. I work with her, and she attends a daycare with a pre school program. I can't see myself feeling she would need to be held back.

    Answer by KairisMama at 11:38 PM on Nov. 20, 2009

  • Children don't need to be in school at the age of 4. They just don't. Also, if your husband suspects that you child isn't mature enough for school, I would hold him back to be on the safe side. I think it's insane that we push maturity on children and expect them all to be developmentally the same at this young age.

    Answer by MotherofIreland at 12:45 AM on Nov. 21, 2009

  • There are times and it can be appropiate to hold a child back to allow for extra maturing etc. especially for boys -- HOWEVER, if he's already academically ready the risk you run is that he gets bored and has behavior issues becouase of it.
    There are pro and cons to all sides of the issue -- going early, going on time, and going late -- it all depends on your individual child and the circumstances around them.

    Answer by MamiJaAyla at 8:29 AM on Nov. 21, 2009

  • A June birthday is pushing it... he'll be too big and too smart for his fellow classmates. There might even be 4 year olds in there (if they make the cut off).

    Answer by DaphneMae at 8:54 AM on Nov. 21, 2009

  • We went both ways...first with our oldest son...(my stepson) my husband sent him "early" academically he did fantastic. However, he was always a little bit less developed in sports. He did well but just about a 1/2 yr. behind in skills.
    We went on to have two more children...1st being a boy...we decided that we did not want to repeat that. We held him back. He started school at 5 (6 in November). He did fantastic academically as well as physically. Physical ability matters, especially to boys. There is a whole confidence piece that fuels us all. As long as you have a good school that will nourish your son's needs academically, you should not fear "being too smart for his classmates"
    My son hasn't acted out. Your husband isn't talking about sending him when he is 7. I am sure you will raise a well rounded child that will make good decisions. Fearing a sexual implication for sending him to school a little later is WOW.

    Answer by oneilld at 9:12 AM on Nov. 21, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.