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how to deal with a 12 yr old and attitude and ready to snap...

my dd age 12 always has to have the last word..wash the dishes...i will...clean ur a min..knock it not doing anything. when she is really just sitting there doing nothing and i try and wait and she will take her time doing something ( like 20 mins ) and i have to repeat myself or yell at her. anyways she and her stepsiters were up stairs tonight rough houseing and shaken the whole house ( her 4 yr old brother sleeping in next room ) and i sent dh up to tell them to quiet down and take it dd statred argueing with him...were not doing anything...and i sliped..( 30 min slip ) and he said enough its almost 10pm..and im dont talken and not gonna argue..her reply..well im done talken to u. dh said enough...her reply whatever. i will not tolerate disrespect to adults. not to mention i had paid to have her hair done today, i helped her with her progect at 6am, dinner was what she wanted. how would u ground?

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Asked by Anonymous at 10:42 PM on Nov. 20, 2009 in General Parenting

Answers (5)
  • I have the same problem with my 11 year old. He likes to get last word in also. This is how I handle this. " You are to do___________ or you will not be able to do________or loose privelages for_______!" and other times I'll just say " You do it, you suffer the consequences." He has spent many a nights in his room with time outs because he wont' knock it off. I can sympathize with you!!!Good luck!

    Answer by fireangel0310 at 10:47 PM on Nov. 20, 2009

  • I wouldn't ground her. You had 12 yrs to teach her how to act and now you want to ground HER? You should have stopped it when it started bc I know she didn't just wake up and start acting like this. She is growing up. Show her some respect. Children learn what they live. If she's not respecting you then it's bc she's not seeing respect given. She learned from your example. I can't believe two grown adults argue with an adolescent! lol That's just silly. You are giving her power when you do that. Take a parenting class but don't punish her for your inadequacy as a parent. Your anger should be with yourself not her.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:47 PM on Nov. 20, 2009

  • Well I have a 13 year old and she does the same thing. Anon is wrong. Its a phase it has nothing to do with parenting unless you let it keep going. Which obviously youre not if youre asking how to deal with it. I slap my 13YO's mouth. I got to the point where I couldnt stand it and slapped her mouth. She called her Dad and said beat her... So a cop came and said that she needed discapline and I did the right thing. He also told her he does the same thing to his kids. Now she wont talk back cause she knows she will get a pop to the mouth

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:57 PM on Nov. 20, 2009

  • My kids know thats one thing I will not tolerate. My 13 year old occasionaly has the last word and she is told right there she is grounded. That means no extra anything. I believe if you keep on top of it and remain consistant with the groundings she will think before she says anything disrepectful.

    Answer by okmommy08 at 11:25 PM on Nov. 20, 2009

  • From having raised two children both of them are grown now. I can tell you that you are getting too caught up in her behavior. You are doing exactly the opposite of what you should do. Stop getting into verbal confrontations with her and just follow through with the groundings. Do NOT react, period. Remain calm and when she mouths off ground her right then and there do not argue about it. When she is calmed down, talk to her. When you can spend more time with her doing something she likes. When our kids had this problem, subconsciously they were trying to get our attention. We had to spend more time letting our kids talk to us and we listened more. Teenage years are not easy on them as kids and certainly not easy on us parents.


    Answer by Anonymous at 3:47 AM on Nov. 21, 2009

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