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Do I continue the relationship?

I meet a guy online and we've been talking for 5 months and gotten really close. He tells me recently that he is HIV+. I have a latex allergy so us having sex can never happen. He has expressed to me that he is willing to do whatever it takes to keep me healthy and free from his disease. So what do I do... Continue in the relationship & know we will never be able to be intimate or do I end it?

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Asked by Anonymous at 11:33 PM on Nov. 20, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (7)
  • I personally would end it. I think it is admirable that he was honest but it wouldnt be worth the risk to me anyway.

    Answer by okmommy08 at 11:37 PM on Nov. 20, 2009

  • is that important to u? that is the question. if that is not a problelm now think about 2 or 3 yrs from now do u want children or more if u already have any i would just take time and think before you get in to deep and if u have kids think about them what will this do to them.

    Answer by Wyattsmom205 at 11:40 PM on Nov. 20, 2009

  • there might be some different condoms then latex like lambskin maybe look into that and see if you can find any that are non latex im sure there are some out there

    Answer by firstimemomm603 at 11:44 PM on Nov. 20, 2009

  • There are a couple of possibilities that you could safely have sex. There are condoms that are made of things other than latex. That is something you could check out and see if only latex condoms are recommended for HIV transmission prevention.

    Some people don't get AIDS. I don't know if there is any way to tell if you are one of those people. It is something you could research. There have been people who are the sexual partners of people with AIDS and never got AIDS. They figured out people whose ancestors survived some plague in Europe centuries ago don't get AIDS.

    I was a health education major in college and knew people interested in AIDS and that's how I remember about these things but not all the specifics.

    You can always be close friends without being sexually active.

    Answer by Gailll at 11:45 PM on Nov. 20, 2009

  • i will tell you to follow your gut and not your heart, because the heart is misleading!!! you can never be safe from hiv with out some sort of protection! being in love doesn't always mean intemacy; however can you fight the erge to be around the one you love or lust for!? its a very tricky situation!!!! you can not preform oral sex because you can get it that way as well. there are non latex condems but they are not as effective!!! you need to weigh the pros and cons of this and go from there. are you able and willing to live with this disese if you decide to be sexually active with him!? will he stay with you after it is all said and done!? we can not tell you how to live, and some might even tell you you're stupid to even think about sticking around; but its your life and ultimately your choice!!!! you have to decide what's best for you, and your love life! there are precautions that can be taken but even fail. its up to u!

    Answer by ladyd6280 at 11:47 PM on Nov. 20, 2009

  • omg...yeah latex is the only condom that can prevent std's geesh..sorry I just get frustrated when people dont understand the dangers...anyways, do you love this person? this is a really deep topic and I dont know what to say really...except that sex, well you can do other things that do not involve bodily fluids, manual stimulation for example, he can use toys on you...just be careful. In this life if you find someone who is honest and cares about you as much as this man must to be so so honest with you...I dont think i could walk away from that.Not without giving it a shot.

    Answer by Bearsjen at 12:29 AM on Nov. 21, 2009

  • I have a latex allergy myself, but they do make polyurethane condoms. Putting that aside, though, you have to decide if you can handle a relationship with no sexual intimacy. Personally, if I'm going to spend the rest of my life with a man, I am going to want to have sex with him. If I love him enough to want to be with him, then I also am attracted to him enough to want that closeness, that connection that sex gives. As another poster said, there are other things you can do, as long as you are careful. This is a very tough decision to make, and unfortunately, it's one only you can make. All the advice we can give you doesn't really matter, b/c you are the one that has to live with your decision, regardless of what it is. You have to figure out how you would feel if you walked away from him, and how you feel about having a romantic relationship that doesn't include something that most think defines "romantic relationship".

    Answer by tropicalmama at 9:05 AM on Nov. 22, 2009

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