what do you think of families that give their mentally challenged kids to the state to take care of

You can do that?

I don't think that option is given to many people. You are expected to take care of your child. If doctors or the state thinks you really can't do it then they get involved and it's not so much giving kids to the state as the doctors and/or state taking them.

I have a son that had developmental delays, low IQ, and bipolar disorder. I was a single mom with health problems of my own. No one at the Children's Hospital or any of the other places we got care suggested I turn him over to the state.

I don't have the right to think anything about it. It's none of my business. I'm sure each family does what they think it best for their child and their family.

It pisses me off. I've worked for several agencies with all types of disabilities. And only a handful of the 75+ people I've cared for have family that is actively involved. Right now I take care of 6 wonderful ladies who do have some interaction and involvement with their families but the visits are short. It bothers me how quickly their families drop them off again.

Oh and if you honestly think that just because people work with them they know what's best for them you are sadly mistaken. Many times in these agencies who provide services to people with disabilities especially those placed in group homes. Their rights are violated and they are treated inferior. I don't know how many times I've reported abuse/neglect. And another agency here had a younger staff working who decided it would be appropriate to put a dogs shock collar on one of the people he was supposed to be caring for. We may know the individuals well but I don't think we always know what's best for them. (No bashing or anything intended I'm just sharing my thoughts after 6 yrs of working the field).

it always is a hard decision to make. you have anticipated one thing (a healthy child), but things went differently. handicapped kid is a burden to carry all life thru. i personally do not approve giving them off (generalizing) but might think differently knowing child's parents - their character,way of approach etc. for one: either parents or state has to prepare those to function in a society (with more or less of the help from others). They mostly work still doing simple jobs. have you ever wondered what do they think of their parents if given off? why not to ask in person? one can look around (in fact many of the diadvantaged are usually on campuses in cafeteria cleaning etc.) might solve your dilemma. i admire parents who put all the effort to help their kids grow, no matter what. of some i knew, they really did well (a girl with heinego medine is almost as normal as everyone, can you believe?) no matter what - good luck!

My son was a 26 weeker who was not expected to live. He's now 18 months old but has severe delays. This past may, 9 days before his first birthday we found out that he has very substantial brain damage, we already knew he vision was being affected because of a couple conditions he had but we had no idea the extent of the damage. After the MRI we knew more of what we were dealing with, he has a G tube, and just started eating purees again, he's on oxygen and has seizures and doesn't talk much right now, but I will NEVER give him up. I was expecting a healthy child when I got pregnant, but I was given a more precious gift instead. My son is amazing and I personally can't understand families who give up their children because they have handicaps. That is just me, and coming from my experience. It is hard and frustrating at times, but I would never change my life or my son.