"Before you were conceived...I wanted you! Before you were born, I Loved You. Before you were an hour old, I would die for you!" I read this yesterday, dealing with adoption...Just curious ......Is this how each of us FEEL, regardless of how we became Moms? MY take from this quote, is possibly biased, because I am a First Mom, but having read this, I supposed that possibly this IS how Moms may feel whom have adopted. Regardless, maybe this will give us MORE compassion, as to just how much a young expectant Mom, truly feels...even though she cannot parent. This feeling never leaves us, and therefore it is what makes ME know that OPEN ADOPTION ,legally enforced, should be the ONLY type of adoption, JMHO! Blessings, C.J.Answer Question
Answer by meriana at 10:44 AM on Nov. 21, 2009
Answer by ceejay1 at 10:56 AM on Nov. 21, 2009
"Before you were conceived...I wanted you! Before you were born, I Loved You. Before you were an hour old, I would die for you even though I hadn't met you yet!" I read this yesterday, dealing with adoption...Just curious ......Is this how each of us FEEL, regardless of how we became Moms?
CJ-Yes, ma'am! This is how a feel about my adopted son. (Note the PAST tense....smile) and I added a phrase. You know our story and you understand. I think it takes an exceptional women, such as yourself, to step "out" of her life experience, and contemplate the feelings of others. It makes a person "grow" inside. Hugs & Joy to you this Thanksgiving!
Answer by doodlebopfan at 11:28 AM on Nov. 21, 2009
Answer by 7babies4me at 11:28 AM on Nov. 21, 2009
Answer by Anonymous at 3:59 PM on Nov. 21, 2009
I would do anything for my child and have known for a long time now I would gladly give my life so he could live. Not even a question. Do I think all moms feel this way? No. In fact, I know they don't. I have had women confide in me they don't feel this way. I don't believe for a second my child's birthmother would give her life for my child's. She has proven beyond a doubt she wouldn't. I won't say how because she is a very unwell person. She is not evil or anything like that...just a desperate woman who is in need of help and resources. Its complicated. I agree she has the right to updates and information....but she is a long way from visits at this point with some of the things that occurred since my son has been born. I would agree contact with letters can be enforced but not in person visits with an unwell person.
Answer by frogdawg at 5:12 PM on Nov. 21, 2009
Answer by Anonymous at 7:11 PM on Nov. 21, 2009
I'm not sure I understand your question. My son was not placed with us through CPS. I know many mothers who placed their children would do anything for their child they placed. And I know mothers who have lost custody through CPS who still would do anything. I can only tell you what I know is that some mothers do not always feel or act in their child's best interest nor would they give their life for their child. I have also met some women who would give their life for one child but could care less about another. I think it is so complicated why people do or don't do certain things. What I don't like is absolutes across the board. Each situation is unique. But I don't want anyone here to think we were in a foster/adopt situation. It was a private one.
Answer by frogdawg at 8:29 PM on Nov. 21, 2009
To add - there are women who would give their life or risk their life for any child even if that child was not related to them in any way and was a stranger. It is not as if this doesn't happen every day. Why do people risk their lives or give their lives for stranger? Why do mothers kill? Why do humans kill at all? Why can't we provide for women and children? I don't know why to many things. I just think this is a complex world. I can only say in our case it breaks my heart I know my son's mother is hurting (and she is), that she hurts others, and my child may one day be very hurt by some of her actions. What I would love is for there to be more access and more resources available to women in need - regardless of what that need is. Then we wouldn't have women who make desperate decisions and poor choices out of limited options.
Answer by frogdawg at 9:03 PM on Nov. 21, 2009
No I was and wasn't referring to your situation,sorry it was confusing.It seems your sons birthmom has very serious issues that might have gotten in the way of her being able to be a proper mother.Then there are those that have children removed by cps.Finally there are those that would never physically or mentally harm their children but for a variety of reasons of self doubt surrender their child.You have answered my question I was just clarifying.
Answer by Anonymous at 1:14 AM on Nov. 22, 2009