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Question about how to handle something...

About 3 years ago my best friend found out her husband was having an affair. It was with another one of her good friends. He ended things immediately with the other woman, and him and my friend have worked on things. I've seen a huge change in him and I'm so proud of how they worked through this and are sooo much happier now than before.
Anyways, the other woman found me on myspace and wrote me a message, just kind of like hi, how are you?, congrats on your pregnancy, blah blah blah. Part of me wants to be nice polite and respond back, but the other part of me feels loyal to my friend and doesn't really want to pursue even a casual friendship online with this other woman. They haven't spoken since this incident and friend and hubby live in CA, mistress lives in VA, and I live in SC. The other woman is married and has a kid, so I don't know if she's being friendly or manipulative.
Was it rude of me to just ignore the message


Asked by Anonymous at 1:15 PM on Nov. 21, 2009 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (7)
  • I think ignoring it was fine. If you feel really guilty about ignoring it, you could simply send a short, polite but clear response to the effect of "thanks so much for your good wishes. sorry I can't talk more, but things are just so hectic for me. It was nice to hear from you. bye."

    Answer by tropicalmama at 1:24 PM on Nov. 21, 2009

  • I would have. It sounds like she's just trying to get some info, and work her way in to figuring out how their life is going now.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:19 PM on Nov. 21, 2009

  • Its totally your call. I probably would have said hi and done the basic cold reply back. Theres no reason not to reply but you also dont need to buddy up to her.

    Answer by Aqua_Jen at 1:22 PM on Nov. 21, 2009

  • Well, I am not that polite. I would have told her where to stick it. Sounds like she is just trying to cause trouble. Or get a lead on your friends husband. So, I would have said exactly what I thought.

    Answer by phantomphan at 1:50 PM on Nov. 21, 2009

  • No it wasn't rude. Her next question would probably have been about him and how he's doing anyway. You did the right thing

    Answer by admckenzie at 1:51 PM on Nov. 21, 2009

  • I would not respond to her. She might be trying to get info out of you, and I'm sure it would hurt your friend.

    Answer by NightPhoenix at 1:58 PM on Nov. 21, 2009

  • I think it was kind of rude, if you knew her even as a passing aquaintance. There is no reason to ever be rude in my book. I think I would have said at least Hi, thanks etc. But at the same time make sure not to divulge anything personal about the other couple. You all live far enough away this shouldn't even be an issue. And if its been three years, my guess is the OW is in a far different place now than she may have been then.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:56 PM on Nov. 21, 2009