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MY LIFE IS A MISERY !

WE HAVE A DH WHOSE 3 MONTHS NOW . MA DH IS THE BREAD PROVIDER N IM A SAHM , HE GETS TO GO OUT HERE WITH THE NEIGHBORS TO DRINK WHILE IM STUCK AT HOME . M MA DS SLEEP IN THE SOFA SO HE CAN GET A GOOD NITE SLEEP SO HE CAN FEEL GOOD IN THE MORNING AND TAKE OFF TO WORK . HE DOESNT REALLY SPEND MUCH TIME WITH US . HE DOESNT REALLY TALK TO ME ABOUT ANYTHING , NOT EVEN GOSSIP LOL I TRIED TALKIN TO HIM , TO GET HIM TO OPEN UP , BUT HE ENDS UP THINKIN I TALK TOO MUCH ! LOLBUT WITH HIS FRIENDS , HE CAN TALK WITH THEM FOR HOURS . HES BACK FROM WORK AROUND 5PM 5:15 PM . SOMETIMESHE LEAVES THE HOUSE AFTER .6ISH/7ISH PMAND COMES BACK AT 12 AM OR EVEN 1 AM (SOMETIMES I HAVE TO CALL HIM) THAT HAPPENS IN WEEK DAYS WHEN HE OBVIOUSLY HAS TO WORK ! AND THE OTHER DAY I WENT WITH MA DS TO SLEEP IN THE BED N HE KINDA KICKED US OUT BY SAYING THINGS LIKE "OOH ! WE DONT FIT , IM TOO UNCOMFORTABLE" SO WE LEFT HIM ! HE SAYS HE DOESNT CARE BOUT ME

Answer Question
 
happymom1988

Asked by happymom1988 at 8:54 PM on Nov. 21, 2009 in General Parenting

Level 9 (349 Credits)
Answers (8)
  • CONTINUED : AND IK IS TRUE , HES A GOOD DAD , BUT I NEED A GREAT HUSBAND . IM TIRING OF BEING BY MYSELF (WITH MY DS OF COURSE ) ! IS OK DA HE HAS TO GO OUT AND WOR , BUT HE GETS EQUAL AMOUNT OF "ME"TIME . ME , ON THE OTHER HAND , CANT GO ANYWHERE W/O MY DS , CUZ IF I GO OUT HES CONSTANTLY CALLING SO I CAN COME BACK AND TAKE CARE OF OUR SON . IM SICK AND TIRED , REALLY IM !
    IM STARTING TO LOOK FOR A JOB . WE DONT LOVE E/O ANYMORE AND THATS FIEN BY ME , I ALWAYS HAD TEH TYPICAL IDEAL OF BEING MARRIED TO ONLY ONE GUY AND GROW OLD TOGETHER KIDS OUR KIDS BLA BLA BLA , BUT I JUST CANT TAKE THIS ANYMORE . IM ALWAYS BY MYSELF , HE DOESNT TAKE CARE OF US NOR SHOWS INTEREST IN US . I DONT EVEN WANT TO HAVE SEX WITH HIM (WE HAVENT HAD ANY , ANYWAYS ) WHAT DO YOU RECOMMEND ME TO DO ?

    HAVE YOU BEING IN A SIMILAR SITUATION ?
    happymom1988

    Answer by happymom1988 at 8:59 PM on Nov. 21, 2009

  • So then LEAVE.
    LuvMyMarine1024

    Answer by LuvMyMarine1024 at 9:00 PM on Nov. 21, 2009

  • Have you tried talking to him? Counseling? Asking him for help?
    asaffell

    Answer by asaffell at 9:48 PM on Nov. 21, 2009

  • He doesn't sound like a good dad to me. Good dads spend all the time they can with their kids.

    It's a little hard to understand what you have written. You say he is calling you to come back and take care of your son. Did you leave your son with your husband?

    If you want to be a SAHM you may want to put up with it until your baby is older. If you want to end the marriage you need to file for divorce, temp. support, custody, and child support.
    Gailll

    Answer by Gailll at 10:34 PM on Nov. 21, 2009

  • 1st -- If you are denying him sex that has a lot to do with why he's being so distant and cold to you. Men express love through sex. Without sex, he will not feel connected to you.

    2nd -- He DOES take care of you and your son. He works every day so that you can stay at home and be the one to raise your child.

    You are never going to improve your situation with your "whoa is me" attitude. Being a mom to a little one is tough and can be very lonely. Right now you are refusing to have sex with him and you are sounding whiny and selfish and I doubt you are much fun to be around at the moment. He is probably trying to avoid you and your bad attitude.

    I feel sorry for your little boy that is caught in the middle of this. I don't really feel like you are wanting advice so much as just to vent, but if you really want to improve things you need to read "Stop Whining, Start Living" and "Secrets of Happily Married Women."
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:39 PM on Nov. 21, 2009

  • I recommend you do not write in all caps and use full words so that you can be better understood.

    I also recommend a marriage counselor. It appears that he may have a little "single while married" going on. You need someone that can facilitate constructive discussion between the two of you.
    happytexasCM

    Answer by happytexasCM at 11:54 PM on Nov. 21, 2009

  • id suggest you leave. bottom line. trust me, youll be happier:)
    evilive

    Answer by evilive at 8:44 AM on Nov. 22, 2009

  • First, marriage counceling... if he isn't willing to go, then go by yourslef... and get a job. Having the security of knowing that you can provide for yoruself if he turns tail and runs will give you a boost of self confidance. Maybe by you moving forward, he will shape up.. maybe not.. but eaither way.. you don't have to be sittling around waiting for him to grow up.
    daughteroftruth

    Answer by daughteroftruth at 11:45 AM on Nov. 22, 2009

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