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School bullies

Hi all! This is my first post here (besides the welcome room) and my reason for joining cafe mom. Although I didn't know there was quite so much to it so I think I'm going to stick around and take advantage! :)

I have an 8 year old boy who is fairly popular at his very small school and has been doing pretty well up until last week. A smaller kid at school started bullying him, he's come home covered in mud, been spat on, and pushed and tripped. I called and talked to the school counselor who advised me that this student was on a "bahavior modification plan" and when he does things like that to other students he loses his *star sticker* for the day. She explained that this kid looks up to my son so he's jealous and targeting him, plus my son is a nice kid and wouldn't fight back so he's an easy target.

I am completely annoyed and not sure how to handle it if the school won't. Advice please!!

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Asked by 67mermaid at 3:17 AM on Nov. 22, 2009 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (13)
  • My kids are allowed to defend themselves. :)

    Answer by SusieD250 at 3:38 AM on Nov. 22, 2009

  • You should do role playing with him. Saying No and leave me alone loudly and with confidence may do the trick. In the end he may have to pick up some mud. I don't think kids should be taught that its against the rules to defend yourself.

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:54 AM on Nov. 22, 2009

  • I am a believer of you treat people like you want to be treated and if they don't give me the same respect back then i will not allow people to walk over me or my children. I tell my children if someone hits you tell adult if it happens again then walk away and tell an adult again if it happens for a thrid time then hit them back. I'm not to worried about my oldest son his 12 and 6 ft tall 183 lbs. My middle child is who i worry about cause she is a push over.

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:03 AM on Nov. 22, 2009

  • I'm glad to hear these responses! I honestly am upset that the school can't/won't do anything to protect my son. I've always been anti-violence but I will not sit back and let my childs self asteem take a dive because the school refuses to deal with a problem.

    Now I need to know how to respond to the teacher when he actually does fight back, and find a way to teach appropriate self defense to my son so that he knows how to handle possible situations.


    Answer by 67mermaid at 4:11 AM on Nov. 22, 2009

  • You tell the teacher, "If my son needs to defend himself, and the adults around him will not do it, he has my permission to defend himself. "

    Answer by SusieD250 at 4:13 AM on Nov. 22, 2009

  • I tell my son Do not let some other kid push you around. He needs to stand up for himself!! My son knows if he hit back then he will not get ntrouble iwth me. As long as it was a fair responce!

    Answer by IMAMOM2-2KIDS at 6:46 AM on Nov. 22, 2009

  • if your son is popular maybe he can help the boy. I know it sounds weird after he has been bullied by him but maybe he could show him how to be nice and try to make friends with him. Once he earns the kids trust he could lead him in the right direction and teach him how wrong it is to do those things...maybe the kid is having problems at home

    Answer by shay1130 at 9:02 AM on Nov. 22, 2009

  • GO TO THE SCHOOL and talk to the principal. It does NOT matter if this bully has a behavior modification plan or not, he should NOT be allowed to do these things to anyone. The counselor is blowing smoke up your butt and you are letting her. Jealousy by butt. This kid knows he can get away with the behavior and all that happens to him is that he loses a sticker for the day. I don't think so. Your son needs to be protected too. If your son were to defend himself against this kid, I bet he would get in trouble at school. I don't care why this child is being a bully, it should not be allowed. If he is bullying your son, he is bullying other kids and has been before.

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 11:29 AM on Nov. 22, 2009

  • I agree with Shay. This is an opportunity for your son to learn how to have compassion even when the other person doesn't seem to deserve it.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:04 PM on Nov. 22, 2009

  • Shay... My son is a very sweet boy, this is one of the reasons he has a lot of friends at this school. The "bully" in question is a very angry kid and the counselor told me that a comliment from my son provoked the first attack of pushing him down in the mud. I had this little boy on my soccer team at one time and he just has some underlining issues that his mom either doesn't know how to deal with or chooses not to. But my son has been very nice to him and has tried to be friends with him, there is just *something else* going on that has to do with that kid. It's not just my child that is having these things happen, he just happens to be an easy target.

    As for going to the school, I have talked to his teacher and the councelor I have been informed it's being worked on. Which is a load. I wanted to switch my son to a different school but my sis who is a local teacher said it's the same way in every school in our area due.

    Answer by 67mermaid at 2:11 PM on Nov. 22, 2009

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