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What excuse do you give when you just don't want to go?

A woman in my life, who considers me a "friend" while I consider her an annoyance, left a message asking me to attend a play she's in. I have made some very conscious decisions to minimize my contact with her outside the one area where we constantly intersect. I know by many past experiences with her that if I attend I would again be a target for her constant phone calls and whoa-is-me whining. How best to respond? I can leave a message on her machine.

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Whimsee

Asked by Whimsee at 12:08 PM on Nov. 22, 2009 in Relationships

Level 13 (1,029 Credits)
Answers (5)
  • I'd just say "hey X, I got your message and I'm sorry, I've already got plans for that day/night/time if you don't want to hurt her feelings or feel you need to respond...Me... I'd just not call her back and hope she'd forgotten that she called or thought maybe I didn't get the message if I didn't want to hurt her feelings.
    lisa_ann_p

    Answer by lisa_ann_p at 12:15 PM on Nov. 22, 2009

  • She obviously needs attention. It isn't your call to judge whether or not she needs it from someone, that's for her to judge. In the time that is now, just keep it honest, tell her you appreciate the kindness, and any other kind things that she'd said or done, but also how you think your life is running in a different way and you don't have a second to give to anyone, but "thanks anyways", I hope you understand........ she should be able to deal with that.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:22 PM on Nov. 22, 2009

  • "Thanks for the invite, but I won't be able to make it." Then hang up.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:13 PM on Nov. 22, 2009

  • Avoid thinking that you have any reason at all to explain any part of your life to anyone. You'll find it easier to say 'thanks, but no'... and to change the subject when someone's trying to whine at you.
    LindaClement

    Answer by LindaClement at 3:35 PM on Nov. 22, 2009

  • Just tell her that you're not interested in going. Be honest with her. Don't lead her on in thinking you're her friend if you don't want to be.
    JazzlikeMraz

    Answer by JazzlikeMraz at 8:11 PM on Nov. 22, 2009

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