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Daughters Boyfriend cheating on her? should we tell her?

My husband is a cop and last night he said he saw a car parked in the end of a parking lot of the town park that closes at night, so he had to go up to the car and put a ticket on it. As he's getting closer, he see's the car is....shakeing. Then he realized that the car was the same type as my 17 year old daughter Ashley's boyfriend Cameron drives, but doesn't think much of it at the time.. The windows of the car are tinted, but he can see that they're are people in there, so he knocks on the window of the car and he hears a boy go "one second". and there is a rustle. The car door opens and he sees that it is my daughters boyfriend getting out of the car, putting his shirt on and buttoning his pants. My husband was of coarse angry, thinking my daughter was in the back, but then the girl got out....and it wasn't my daughter. He said Cameron look uncomfortable but not apoligetic. He stayed professional and talked to...
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Avaxxx

Asked by Avaxxx at 2:52 PM on Nov. 22, 2009 in Teens (13-17)

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Answers (22)
  • She needs to know, even if only she can protect herself from STDs. But how to tell her is a problem. If you behave in a negative way she'll tune out what you are telling her. I don't see any other way than to tell her what her dad saw, keeping it calm and non-accusing.
    Bmat

    Answer by Bmat at 2:54 PM on Nov. 22, 2009

  • I would tell her but be prepared for her to not believe you.
    Jademom07

    Answer by Jademom07 at 2:54 PM on Nov. 22, 2009

  • them like they were any other kids he saw, and was able to control himself from ripping the kids head off! He had to give them a ticket for being in the park when they werent supposed to be, and sent them on their way.
    I know it would be the right thing to do to tell my daughter this, but she knows we already don't like him, and would think we could have made this up as some excuse to get her away from him. And i really don;t know what to do about this. Comments would be appreciated.
    Avaxxx

    Answer by Avaxxx at 2:56 PM on Nov. 22, 2009

  • Do NOT tell her. It's not your place. Your husband should have told the bf to make sure HE (bf) tells your dd about it. It's the bf's responsibility. I WOULD say that I heard bf has something he needs to say to her but tell her you need to ask bf what it is.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 3:06 PM on Nov. 22, 2009

  • My guess is he will do that himself. He's most likely going to assume that you have told her. Not to mention, he'd have to be pretty bold to come hang out with your daughter after that.

    All else fails, I would probably invite him in one day, and have Dh ask "Say did you get that parking ticket from Saturday paid yet? And did, the young woman you were with get home okay?"
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:07 PM on Nov. 22, 2009

  • be totally honest with her tell her that her father saw something at work and you both want to tell her but your afraid she will think you saying this just to hurt her or be cause of other reasons. talk softly even if she yells stay calm. the best aproch is honesty I think. let her know you are unsure and do not want her to misunderstand why you need to tell her this.
    be honest with how you feel do not lie about the bf. you can say if she ask why you never liked him say I don't know if you don't be honest about it say the truth I don't know what it is about him that makes me uncomfortable.

    I hope this helps even a little.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:10 PM on Nov. 22, 2009

  • I'd call him and say "if you're not gonna tell her, we will" and give it a few days
    Domsmom2009

    Answer by Domsmom2009 at 3:24 PM on Nov. 22, 2009

  • "All else fails, I would probably invite him in one day, and have Dh ask "Say did you get that parking ticket from Saturday paid yet? And did, the young woman you were with get home okay?"

    I like this answer! lol! And then he'd be the one on the spot, not you guys! The answer under this one is good if you 2 just want to talk to your daughter about it!
    AddyLeigh

    Answer by AddyLeigh at 3:27 PM on Nov. 22, 2009

  • Give it a little time. The BF may think you will tell her anyway and he may fess up. But if after a few days he does not, then I would let him know either he tell her or you will. Either way she will be heart broken.
    pnwmom

    Answer by pnwmom at 3:47 PM on Nov. 22, 2009

  • i think your husband need to tell her
    evelyn334

    Answer by evelyn334 at 4:03 PM on Nov. 22, 2009

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