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Regret Circ....will I ever accept it?

I was highly opposed to circing my son. However, I left the decision to my husband. He chose to take him on the 8th day of life to be circed. We are not Jewish, it just happened to work out on day 8.

3 months later my baby is having some "common issues". He had an adhesion that had to be forcefully retracted. I have to pull the skin back, clean it and apply Vaseline in order to prevent reattachment.

I regret allowing my husband to have it done. I'm really bummed. There is NOTHING I can do about it now but I just wish I would have had the guts to be more firm with my husband. Will I ever be okay with the decision?

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 6:00 PM on Nov. 22, 2009 in Kids' Health

Answers (13)
  • First of all, you need to forgive yourself. Dwelling on it helps no one. It also lets you know that you can take control next time, if there will be a next time.

    My first son is circumcised, but my second is not. I went through the same feelings of guilt and sadness. I then decided that I had to stop, because it could damage my children as well.

    *hugs*
    Cymbeline

    Answer by Cymbeline at 6:04 PM on Nov. 22, 2009

  • Um, I guess I am not following you.... This all very common procedures and healing processes. I really wasn't aware that moms these days choose not to circumcise. Why would you not want that done? It's so unsanitary not to do it, not to mention as ugly as can be. I think your husband made the right choice.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:07 PM on Nov. 22, 2009

  • ****Um, I guess I am not following you.... This all very common procedures and healing processes. I really wasn't aware that moms these days choose not to circumcise. Why would you not want that done? It's so unsanitary not to do it, not to mention as ugly as can be. I think your husband made the right choice.*****
    Ignorance is bliss.

    You weren't aware that people don't do it? 50% of people in this country choose not to circ their child...also, about 90% of the rest of the world chooses not to circ.

    Unsanitary? NOT TRUE!

    UGLY? That's an opinion. There are places that make fun of people who are circed because it's not the norm.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:14 PM on Nov. 22, 2009

  • "It's so unsanitary not to do it..." - complete BS

    "...not to mention as ugly as can be." - oh, like the penis is a really great looking thing to begin with LOL


    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:38 PM on Nov. 22, 2009

  • Sorry you feel all this regret, but how do you think your husband would feel if you had forced the issue and NOT allowed him to do what he felt needed to be done. He'd be feeling the same as you are now.

    This should have been discussed between the two of you and you both should have come to an agreement.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:59 PM on Nov. 22, 2009

  • You'll probably always feel bad about it....hopefully the complications of having it done are past now and you won't have any more problems with it.
    I would just make sure you don't allow it to happen again if you have more sons.
    AmiJanell

    Answer by AmiJanell at 7:20 PM on Nov. 22, 2009

  • Make sure she doesn't allow it to happen again?

    Um....she's not the only parent here. The father has a right to say what happens to his son. This needs to be a joint decision, not just HERS.

    I simply can't imagine not allowing my husband to have no say in what happens with/to his own sons.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:59 PM on Nov. 22, 2009

  • I have been there! But as your baby gets older it will not be a issue any more. I would put A&D ointment in it instead of vasiline!! It is better for it! My son is 6 and i still have to make sure it is pulled back daily so it does not reattach
    IMAMOM2-2KIDS

    Answer by IMAMOM2-2KIDS at 3:28 AM on Nov. 23, 2009

  • only worry about things you can control, just take a more proactive roll in deciding what happens medically to your child in the future, you can control that, i am sure you will accept the circ when it stops being an issue. i think A and D ointment is terrible and would stick with the vasoline personally...
    AmaliaD

    Answer by AmaliaD at 12:50 PM on Nov. 23, 2009

  • "Um, I guess I am not following you.... This all very common procedures and healing processes. I really wasn't aware that moms these days choose not to circumcise. Why would you not want that done? It's so unsanitary not to do it, not to mention as ugly as can be. I think your husband made the right choice."

    Excuse me but 90% of the world does NOT circ their infant sons and the USA is the only country where more then 30% routinely due at birth for cosmetic reasons (because at birth it really is cosmetic). As far as being ugly I beg to differ. This is a very heated debate and I am amazed you didn't know that. As for the OP while I know nothing of the care of a circed penis I am sure you will eventually get over this and the next time don't let your husband bully you into it. Do your research and stand up for yourself. This has to be a decision you both make not just him because he has a penis!
    aeneva

    Answer by aeneva at 9:22 PM on Nov. 23, 2009

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