Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

needing advice about a friend!!!

have this friend ive known for a long time in my opionion shes not a very good one.there r times we talk and text all the time and then long periods where she neverreturns my calls.she stopped hanging out with me about a yr ago says a proper married women doesnt go out without her husband,and she doesnt want to.i think its the church she goes to that makes her that way.she has quit the church 3 times and each time she will hang with me but when she returns she wants nothing to do with me.ive done alot for her she doesnt do much for me..shes my only friend at the moment.another thing is when i text or call her about my kids acomplishments she says nothing she changes the subject about her why is that?? i want to share things with her but if its not all about her she doesnt care,what should i do???

Answer Question

Asked by coffeefreak996 at 10:59 AM on Nov. 23, 2009 in Relationships

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (9)
  • Sounds like you need to ask her straight up and tell her that you are getting tired of her not being there for you. Let her know that she needs to stop and think about things and that you won't be there if she keeps down the path she's going. Why put yourself on the line?

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:02 AM on Nov. 23, 2009

  • Seems like you need to let her initiate a relationship with you and you need to focus on making new friends that fit your life better now. You dont have to have a confrontation you can maybe just drift and focus on filling your needs elsewhere. She probably isnt aware of what she is doing but it doesnt sound like a very good friend.

    Answer by ria7 at 11:05 AM on Nov. 23, 2009

  • Find some new friends, look at your kids school, I wouldn't call her, let her call you, when she does, be busy, you might be suprised how if you are not there for HER all of the time, that she might make some more effort! I wouldn't argue about it, you can't change her, but you can change how YOU deal with it, find a play group for you kids, you might meet a cool mom there! Good luck!

    Answer by kimigogo at 11:15 AM on Nov. 23, 2009

  • your deff rt about needing to find other friends but its so hard i had one other that drifted away because of money problems so she was the only other.i no other moms from my kids sports i just dont no how to go about initiating a real friendship with them.i deff want to confront her just dont no how without starting a war between us

    Answer by coffeefreak996 at 11:18 AM on Nov. 23, 2009

  • thanks thats a good idea altho the play group thing is out of my kids age range lol..but deff look into there friends parents.

    Answer by coffeefreak996 at 11:19 AM on Nov. 23, 2009

  • the only advice i can give ya is that i have been known to change or ignore some subjects only because i dont want to hear more about it, now, i have only been friends w an ex over the phone and he likes to go on and on about his family, if i let him, i become very bored, so i talk a little about his family but to a certain extent.

    Answer by americansugar80 at 11:31 AM on Nov. 23, 2009

  • sounds like ur her ''go to'' when ur friend doesnt have a set plan on a path in life

    Answer by americansugar80 at 11:34 AM on Nov. 23, 2009

  • a little advice find another friend :) she's using you to fall back on!

    Answer by chica679 at 12:05 PM on Nov. 23, 2009

  • thanxs for the advice everyone..and as for the comment from americansugar80 i am not the kind of person that goes on and on about myself in fact its quite the oppisite..when we talk on the phone its always about her she never lets me get a word in edgewise..i will text her every now and then about something exciting that my kids have done but its not an everyday occurance. i have to lisen to her go on and on about how her 4 yr old poops and what she eats so i deserve an ear back. my thought on that is shes jealous cause her kids dont do sports or have any acomplishments in school,i dont try to make her mad by telling her its just who else can u tell if not ur friends im alone here my family lives in cali its hard to make friends but i will make sure not to bore her lol as she does me :) thanks again everyone!

    Answer by coffeefreak996 at 6:27 PM on Nov. 23, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.