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How ticked would you be?? How should I even react to this??

DH and I decided to do some cutting back of our "little luxuries" to save money for a better xmas.. And my list was hair mousse, clean-wipes, renting movies, lotion (cept hand), no cross-words or magazines, certain snack-foods, and my one daily soda.. I have done mine for the past few months..

I figured out after stopping in hubby's work this morning and then I looked closer at the money and he hasn't stopped buying snacks at work even tho I send snacks with him, smoking a TON at work (he's supposed to be cutting back so he can quit), smoking brand-name smokes, drinking a lot of soda and coffee at work, and he's been buying all the magazines he was before even tho we agreed he'd cut it down to his 2 favorite.

So I do not know what to do. I didn't say anything yet. I just left.

He's also not doing other things he's supposed to be doing.. I gave him hand sanitizer and his own paper towels and they were untouched. ?!

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 11:21 AM on Nov. 23, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (15)
  • I would ask him about it. Tell him that you've made sacrifices and you don't see what he has sacrificed for this christmas.... If he refuses to stop I would either 1) go back to buying what I was before or 2) act like you are... when you go to the store pull out the extra money and put it away hidden from him. Don't tell him you have it. Right now I'm going through the you drink coke at work all the time. I like coke too but the short time your home you drink it all and then I'm left with none all the hours you are gone. NOT FAIR!!! I pulled the "baby, since I don't get to eat out and you do it all the time,,,, I want to go out to eat" he told me not to pull the guilt trip on him. I told him that I was just stating facts and I've told him that it makes me jealous when I know that he eats out all the time (fast food, but still) and drinks soda all the time at work and at my 24/7 job I don't get those luxuries.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:28 AM on Nov. 23, 2009

  • OP) I'm thinking of doing something vindictive. lol. Like: looking at a really awesome expensive tool online that's on his list and being like "Oh hunny I bet you want this" and then being like "Santa isn't bringing it to you though, you've been naughty and not done your xmas cut-backs like we agreed. Too bad." and going to another site with a much cheaper tool and buying it in front of him =p

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:39 AM on Nov. 23, 2009

  • my hubby has went from bying packs of ciggs to rolling his own, there are ways to save money but he needs to contribute to the deal. sounds like u cut back so he can have more money to himself. ask him where he got his selfishness from.

    Answer by americansugar80 at 11:40 AM on Nov. 23, 2009

  • Being vindictive will bite you in the behind. Don't put so much focus on xmas. Give to each other every day instead of one day. If he wants smokes for his xmas gift then let him have them. He's making his choice on how to spend his money so don't sweat it. Just take your money and do what you want to do with it.

    Answer by admckenzie at 11:43 AM on Nov. 23, 2009

  • OP) If he wants lung cancer sticks for xmas I'm not buying them =p

    Ehh I won't be vindictive. But, I don't understand why it wouldn't bother you that he has been being dishonest. That's what is irking me more than anything. If he didn't want to do cut-backs, fine, but don't lie to me.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:48 AM on Nov. 23, 2009

  • have to ask what does paper towels and hand sanitizer have to do with him no useing it. BFD he is useing the onces at work. Your are being VERY MUCH A BITCH AND CONTROLING about this. It's the hoiday season don't be so HEARTLESS or you just may be spending the holidays ALONE.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:51 AM on Nov. 23, 2009

  • OP) It's a shop, they all use the same communal cloth towel.. A few of the guys at work have had the flu.. I have a newborn son with asthma.. I know it's weird but I somehow think it will help if SO keeps his hands clean and changes out of his uniform before coming home. I think if he doesn't get sick or bring it on his clothes, my baby will have less of a chance of getting sick.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:59 AM on Nov. 23, 2009

  • Life's too short to be upset about cutting back for Christmas. Giving is year round and if you're putting back and he's not, then ignore it and don't allow it to be a main focus in your marriage. You continue to cut back and save your extra money for things that's needed for 'Christmas. Once you see how much you've saved once you've cut back, you may do it all the time to save up for something special just for you...

    Answer by mom2mybabes at 12:00 PM on Nov. 23, 2009

  • OP) And I also have had him change clothes anyway : not bringing that crap in the house. He also must change clothes after smoking and wash his hands really well if he wants to hold our 5 month old. Too bad.

    I'd rather be alone than have my baby have an extra shot at getting sick or dying.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:02 PM on Nov. 23, 2009

  • mom2 It's not the money. It's the fact that he said he would do something and did not. And the fact that I feel like I sacraficed and he just laughed it up. And the fact that he lied about it.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:06 PM on Nov. 23, 2009

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