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If I give my fiance' permission to ground my sons for wrong doings, can there fathers harass me with full custody orders??

My fiance' lives with me and I let him ground my sons and tell them what to do sometimes but when my youngest son goes and tells his father, he calls here and threatens me with taking full custody. Is this right??

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 11:34 AM on Nov. 23, 2009 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

Answers (10)
  • NO. Your fiance is a step parent. If step parents have no authority the kids will run ALL over him. I'm not saying that grounds for him to beat them or even spank them, but make sure ya'll are on the same page with what is worth grounding, what just needs to be talked about, reasonable length of punishment, all that jazz.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:40 AM on Nov. 23, 2009

  • he can but he def. will not win! as long as your fiance is not hitting your child or anything of that nature, he can't do anything about it really

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:53 AM on Nov. 23, 2009

  • You EX can not take the kids away for that reason. Unless it is proven that you or your SO is abusing the kids. I think as long as the SO is not spanking your kids it should be ok. But you two need to talk about what you think is on discipline. I think you need to talk to your EX too and tell him what is going on.


    Answer by louise2 at 11:54 AM on Nov. 23, 2009

  • Well, regardless of what is going on, you, too, are in the wrong for letting a nonparent give the control that is rightfully the father's responsibility. You will only be confusing that poor child. This is the problem with moms and getting divorced and starting multiple families... too confusing. If the father is active, why are you trying to eliminate him from your son's life.... sheez....

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:00 PM on Nov. 23, 2009

  • I think you need to not let your fiance ground your kids, ie,, your children, your job, you might be setting yourself up for resentment from your kiddos towards their soon to be step parent.. I have been a step parent and although they had to ask my permission to go to friends houses what not when their dad was not home, the discipline was left up to him! It worked out well, and the ex and I got a long fine, I respected her position as his MOM and mine as more of a guider... we have a great relationship and everyone was clear on the boundaries. Please rethink your stand on this matter, good luck MOM--and yes he should not threaten to take your kids, but how would you feel is some woman was dishing out punishment to your children?? Take care!

    Answer by kimigogo at 12:12 PM on Nov. 23, 2009

  • Your fiance is NOT a step parent. Yes, the father can threaten you with taking full custody...will he win, only the court will say.

    Even if (when) he is the step parent, if the actual father is not on board with your fiance disciplining your kids, he has every right to step in.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:20 PM on Nov. 23, 2009

  • just for grounding the kid? He can try but a judge is going to laugh at him. The kids not being abused because he got grounded.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:37 PM on Nov. 23, 2009

  • A non-custodial parent can threaten the custodial parent for no reason at all. He doesnt need to have a reason to try to get full custody of his own children. Will he win in court? Assuming its just grounding then I would say there isnt a chance in hell! Just give him his day in court and that will force him to shut up. Dont let the threatening get to you, if you believe you are doing the right thing for your kids then dont let your ex get to you.

    I swear that non-custodial parents tend to have nothin better to do then to harrass us!

    Answer by Jaydin_Makenna at 2:45 PM on Nov. 23, 2009

  • In our family whoever is directly responsible for the care of the kids at any given time is the person who does the grounding. That could be grandma, Aunt, uncle, step-parent or parent.

    Assuming the child did something to warrant being punished, the father has no course of action. The kid is probably upset that he's punished, and is calling dad to bail him out.

    You need to have as civil a discussion with dad as possible, and make it clear that the fiance is looking out for the kids best interests, and wouldn't dad prefer someone there to look out for the kid instead of turning a blind eye to everyhting?

    If dad insists on going to court, let him. There's not anything illegal going on, and the kids are safe and in good health.

    Answer by ariesgirl217 at 3:33 PM on Nov. 23, 2009

  • perhpas all of the parental units involved... step and biological, should sit down and agree to rules and consiquences for this child... If your all on the same page, it makes it less likely taht your son will try to manipulate everyone envolved.

    Answer by daughteroftruth at 3:34 PM on Nov. 23, 2009

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