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In laws have no boundaries and not sure what to say to them?

Just one of many example is:My so is bill jr, so when old mail accidentally goes to parents house(this happens rarely and yes we did allt he forms, just some things slip thru), if it doesnt say "Jr" on it his parents will open it. Then instead of saying"oops sorry thought it was mine" they proceed to read the mail, then pass judgement/criticize my SO for whatever is int he mail. SO has said a couple of times, just set it aside and I will pick it up, but they cant stop the harassment. Recently it was a statement from a very old credit card that we have not been able to pay on for a few months, well parents are now complaining and saying things like"you will never get it together, never be sucessful;" etc...and its hurtful and rude and I want to know how others would address this? I am so fed up ready to just scream at them to go to hell!


Asked by Anonymous at 12:37 PM on Nov. 23, 2009 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (7)
  • You need to tell them, I mean no disrespect, but you are making it hard when you are disrespectful to us. The respectful thing would be to set aside something IMMEDIATLY when you realize that it isn't yours and to keep your mouth shut about what ever was in it. It wasn't ment for your eyes in the first place. Ask them why they are reading your mail? Ask them if you can read their mail and criticize them? Tell them I appreciate you letting me know my mail is there, but you really didn't have to read it or tell me anything about the contents. I could find that out when I pick them up

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:42 PM on Nov. 23, 2009

  • Tell them you need to have a talk. Sit down all together and explain to them the situation. That it is rude for them to continue reading something that does not belong to them. That you expect privacy. Etc. etc. Be nice. But be firm.

    I had to do this with my IL's on more then on occasion.

    Answer by outstandingLove at 12:44 PM on Nov. 23, 2009

  • If they comment on unpaid bills, ask them to help you pay it if they feel the need to be involved.
    Remember, an arguement/fight/disagreement takes 2 parties. Just don't engage in the conversation.

    Answer by EireLass at 12:57 PM on Nov. 23, 2009

  • I'd tell them NO I can't get it together and pay my bills if you are keeping my bills!!!!!!!

    Answer by admckenzie at 1:11 PM on Nov. 23, 2009

  • This is a fight between a son & his parents. You can't do anything except encourage & support him. HE has to be the one to put a stop to it or break ties a while.

    Answer by Laura1229 at 2:01 PM on Nov. 23, 2009

  • i would let him fight the battle with his parents, support him but stay out of it... and call the post office and explain what they are doing to you. tell dh to tell his rents they are commiting federal offenses every time they do it and if they do it again he's call them in... lol

    Answer by AmaliaD at 2:05 PM on Nov. 23, 2009

  • OP here, I would let him battle them alone but considering some of the mail has my name on it too(inside obviously) I feel its MY privacy being messed with as well.
    I do like the idea of calling the post office and telling them what is happening, but these peole are so ridiculous, they wouldnt be concerned at all that its a fed crime, they just think the world revolves around them and their twisted logic. thanks everyone.

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:03 PM on Nov. 23, 2009