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MIL question

how do you deal with a mil that doesn't like you no matter how hard you try? and you have to see her?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 12:57 PM on Nov. 23, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (8)
  • All you can do is to be YOU....dont act like anyone else or try too hard.

    I mean are YOU that horrible that someone wouldn't like you?....if not, then its her problem ;)

    I know its hard to get past....but you cant change other people or their opinions...you can only control yourself.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:58 PM on Nov. 23, 2009

  • Well I sort of have to deal with this with my FIL. The only thing you can do is find peace in yourself and know that you are a good person. Be who you are and be happy about it. You in the end will be the better person. Thats the conclusion I have came to after some years.
    3gigglemonsters

    Answer by 3gigglemonsters at 12:59 PM on Nov. 23, 2009

  • Learn how to be an actress. Smile, be nice. Try to avoid talking to her as much as possible when you are both together. And hope you do not be around her for very long. You just have to deal with in-laws.
    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 1:01 PM on Nov. 23, 2009

  • I agree with "just be you" poster. I'm a MIL and there is nothing on God's green earth that will make me ever like my DIL. It's just the way it is. I have to accept that the cheating, scheming, conniving, drug addict ho won't leave my son alone so he's stuck with her (or she has him attacked by her drug friends) but I don't have to like her. I'm sure your MIL has her reasons too. I'm not saying you are as bad as my DIL but for some reason MIL won't accept you. You can't do anything about that. Just live life. There isn't much we MILs can do as long as our child is ok with their spouse.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:04 PM on Nov. 23, 2009

  • Stop trying. Just be your self, be friendly and civil. Don't try too hard. Just talk to the other guests at whatever holiday functions you're at.
    beckcorc

    Answer by beckcorc at 1:04 PM on Nov. 23, 2009

  • OP- I have never done anything to her except give her 3 grandchildren. She has never liked me from day one, she had some girl picked out that she though my husband should marry, he never had any feelings for that girl and always made it clear to his mother he would never date her much less marry her. She wanted a frilly little girl and got me, I have been taught to be a strong person and to always be me, she just hates me. I have been trying for 10 years! It has gotten so bad she almost missed being allowed at the hospital when baby 3 was born. She thinks she is always right about everything and does nothing but talk down to my dh. How can I deal with that almost daily? and definetly bi-weekly?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:38 PM on Nov. 23, 2009

  • just know that those people who matter wont mind who you are.... and those who mind dont matter... just stop caring what she thinks or says. if she talks down to dh and doesnt like you why do you see her so often,,,, i would be avoiding her more.... why dont you give her a warning, no more negativity is allowed or she looses grandkids for a month each time it happens and inforce it. get her to bite her lip more often, remember you have the grandkid, you have the power... hate to use them as a bargaining chip but with grandparents who are disrespectful, sometimes that is all you CAN do...
    AmaliaD

    Answer by AmaliaD at 2:09 PM on Nov. 23, 2009

  • I have had to dealt with stepkids who did not like me. They grew up not liking me most of the time. I was always uncomfortable around them. I married an older man, and i am only 9 years older than his daughter, and only 12 years older than his son. So they really didn't see me as being old enough to be a mother figure to them, especially since their mom was jealous and caused alot of drama and problems over the years. When my stepkids got older, they eventually quit calling my husband and quit coming around, which is ok by me since they don't like me and don't consider being a part of our family, and they are jealous and envious of their half-siblings (my kids). I used to worry alot over this, but i've come to realize this is just the way are are, and the way their mom raised them, i cannot change them. So i am just glad i don't have to put up with them, since they are hateful.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:19 PM on Nov. 23, 2009

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