Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Yep. Filed Child Support today. Feeling some guilt.

So I filed child support today. I feel somewhat confused as to why I decided to do it aside from actually having to do it (had to to get Medicaid). The boyfriend and I live together, he has been taking care of both of us financially and does an excellent job of providing, but he leaves me with no money. No money on a daily basis. I stay at home with the baby. The question, "what if an emergency were to arise and I have no money?" always pops in my head. So, yes he does provide for us quite well, but leaves us with no security on a daily basis. I have to ask him for every little thing which can be a little demeaning at times. I don't sit there with my hand out demanding this and that. I have been looking for a job since the baby was born, but have found nothing, so I am stuck relying on him. He resents me for this, I know, but what can be done about it at this point. So, why am I feeling a sense of guilt for filing cs?

Answer Question
 
dani2780

Asked by dani2780 at 1:47 PM on Nov. 23, 2009 in Relationships

Level 2 (10 Credits)
Answers (9)
  • i have never heard of living with the man you get support for, i thought it was for separated couples.. but whatever.... i think you might feel guilty because you want to be able to support your child yourself and not to have to ask him for $$ which you are taking steps toward achieving... i would be more worried that he would flip out that i filed while living with him... you description makes me think he is being controlling by leaving you with no money, could you maybe watch other peoples babies when they work to make some money of your own...
    AmaliaD

    Answer by AmaliaD at 2:13 PM on Nov. 23, 2009

  • You two live together and now you're asking him to pay child support because he leaves you home without any money on a daily basis? Have you asked him why? He may think that since your home all day and he does provide for you quite well, that you probably do not need money...Is there a reason why you're not earning your own money?
    mom2mybabes

    Answer by mom2mybabes at 2:23 PM on Nov. 23, 2009

  • Yeah. Because I am having difficulty finding employment. We have only one vehicle so that makes it all the more challenging to get out there and job search.
    dani2780

    Answer by dani2780 at 2:44 PM on Nov. 23, 2009

  • You can't get child support from the state if you are living with the father.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:49 PM on Nov. 23, 2009

  • Put the guilt back on him, you're doing all you can, and he probably put in the situation to have to do this, sooooo oh well, do what you have to do.
    MommaRox4683

    Answer by MommaRox4683 at 3:08 PM on Nov. 23, 2009

  • well, you didn't technically file for CS you filed to get medicaid and new state laws say in order to receive medicaid you have to file for CS so they do it for you. Why don't you tell him that way maybe he can get some private insurance your you and the kids. If he can't then oh well and you need to kick his ass out b/c wtf is he good for anyways.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:46 PM on Nov. 23, 2009

  • *for you and the kids...oops typo
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:47 PM on Nov. 23, 2009

  • Well he's putting food on the table and a roof over her head I'd say he's good for something! A lot of people can't afford healthcare or maybe his employer doesn't offer it.
    Maybe he knows how you spend money and doesn't trust you with or just trust issues in general. I can tell you now he will not be happy about you filing for CS so get your back up plan ready now sweetheart.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:55 PM on Nov. 23, 2009

  • Is your BF the baby's father?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:33 PM on Nov. 23, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.
close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN