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I try to be supportive but sometimes I just want to tell her to deal with it!

Am i heartless? One of my cousin's is going through some things with her kids dad. He is I guess what you would call a "deadbeat dad." Doesn't work or support his kids. Don't get me wrong he isn't horrible. He takes care of his kids while my cousin goes out and parties, which I guess she feels entitled to do since she raises them on her own(well with the help of her mom.) She is always runnin him down on her Myspace page, puttin all her dirty laundry out there for everyone to see. The thing is, she knew this is the way he was when they first met! He lived with his sis, no job or car. Then she got preg. when she was 17. He still ddnt get a job. Then they got married w/o telling any of our family. Still no job. Then she got preg again. Then they divorced. Now she rants about him, what he is doing to his kids, how could he do this to his kids? When in all honesty, I think he just doesn't want to deal w/her anymore.


Asked by Anonymous at 3:28 PM on Nov. 23, 2009 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (9)
  • Nope. I would tell her that it is getting old. Her partying isn't showing much maturity, her priority should be her kids. Trashing ex (father of her children) is stupid and pointless, period.

    Just tell her to get over it because her current situation was her own doing, she made poor choices and still continues to make them, the only difference is that now, her poor choices affect her children that's all.

    Answer by bebita at 3:46 PM on Nov. 23, 2009

  • She knew the loser he was before she married him....She still needs support, but only if she's gonna make smart decisions.

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:30 PM on Nov. 23, 2009

  • she needs to move on and stop making drama in her life.

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:31 PM on Nov. 23, 2009

  • She put him through alot during the time they were together,we used to be really close and I spent alot of time with them so i witnessed it. So I try to be there for her and everything but sometimes I just want to tell her, he was the one you chose as the father of your kids now you have to deal. Sound mean I know but I just get tired of it sometimes, especially since he isn't a bad guy, he was never mean to her or anything. I just think he was too immature to be a father but she refused to see that and got pregnant anyway. She is quite immature herself. I feel bad at times that I can't be more supportive. Am I flat out mean for thinking this way?

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:31 PM on Nov. 23, 2009

  • i almost feel like i know who you'retalking about. lol. my cousin's ex is that way. his ex would air out all their dirty laundry on myspace. she would complain he doesn't take care of their son when in reality, he takes him for a week every other week so she could go to clubs and party. she's mad he doesn't give enough money but he provides all the support he can afford. i trie beingher friend, but i eventually gave up and came to the conclusion that there is something seriously psychologically wrong with that girl. i'm there if they need anything from me, as long as it's free from their drama.

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:43 PM on Nov. 23, 2009

  • She needs to move on but that's her business. Stay out of it.

    Answer by admckenzie at 4:10 PM on Nov. 23, 2009

  • Wow, really? She put him through a lot? He is a deadbeat dad, never worked or supported himself, and living with his sister was not classy btw. Neither is knocking up a 17 year old girl. Yes, she should have been responsible too but give me a break. She didn't get pregnant by herself. Did you ever stop to think that maybe she is disgusted or embarrassed that she let such a pathetic loser into her life? Here is an idea, if it bothers you to hear her run him down, don't listen. You don't have to read her rants on MySpace. Honestly at this point, I'd have to wonder why you would defend him. He sounds like a peice of trash.

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:21 PM on Nov. 23, 2009

  • Ok anon :21 just because you can relate to OP's cousin, no need to get nasty.

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:31 PM on Nov. 23, 2009

  • Yes anon :21 she put him through alot, like having him arrested for domestic violence when he was trying to leave the house after she was yelling and screaming at him in front of the kids and tried blocking the door so he couldn't leave. He pushed her out of the way so he could get out, then she called the cops, then tried to tell them not to arrest him, unaware that they had to. So now he has a record, when in reality, he was trying to leave but she wouldn't let him. She sure isn't acting emabarrassed, telling anyone who will listen how terrible he is. I know a kid living with his sister isn't too classy, which is why I say, she knew all this before she made the commitment of having his kids.

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:36 PM on Nov. 23, 2009