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How would you handle this?

Well my dh just let me have it...about Thanksgiving tradition just bc his mom and vamily are all into the thanksgiving thing doesn't mean I am I mean I'll bake a turkey and stuff but to go out of my way I could care less, I do it bc that is what he wants and he was saying stuff like just bc your mother wasn't into it doesn't mean you have to be like her...blah blah blah. I mean as it is we are all going to go visit his family but yet he still wants us to have a turkey here for us. I suggested since we will be going over there the day after thanksgiving why don't we just bake our turkey here and bring it with us over to his family. That is when he started about NO! I WANT US TO HAVE OUR TURKEY HERE THESE KIDS ARE GOING TO KNOW ABOUT TRADITION!!!! I know I am wrong on this but I give thanks everyday to me this is just another day just like my b/day it is no big deal. UR thoughts please ladies...Thx.

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 4:44 PM on Nov. 23, 2009 in Holidays

Answers (8)
  • Any succesful marraige depends on compromise. If it is THAT important to him.... smile and fake it. If this is something he REALLY cares about then you should do it for him.

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:46 PM on Nov. 23, 2009

  • I TOTALLY AGREE. My dh and I just had this darn chat this morning. My kids don't even like turkey so every year I cook a bird for him. I dislike turkey too so we have weeks of leftovers that only he eats. It's a lot to make the meal for just one man with kids that really only want mashers and pie. I told him I'd like to go to a restaurant and skip the work and waste. He blanched, also bitching about tradition. Well, how many really happy thanksgivings can you think of? I had a great childhood and a big family and mom slaved in the kitchen for days before taking in the strays as well as our big family and we all dutifully ate the meal. But I don't think Mom enjoyed it that much. By the time she sat for dinner she was tired. Maybe that's why she and dad live in Mexico so they can avoid the forced family Thanksgiving. Anyway, I'm lobbying for a restaurant. Good luck to you!

    Answer by jeanclaudia at 4:49 PM on Nov. 23, 2009

  • I don't know what the big deal is. Make a thanksgiving meal for him, he would like to start a tradition of doing this so why can't you go along with it. He is part of the family also you are not the only one to decide on the traditions or lack of traditions.

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:49 PM on Nov. 23, 2009

  • Thankfully my dh has a head on his shoulders... other wise he would be carrying the damn thing around for the rest of the yr.... Arguing over Holidays is an absolute NO NO... "I WIN" I will do all holidays in OUR own traditions, not bc his mama did it this way or that way or bc my family did it this way or that...
    Now I won't tell you what I would do personally...LOL... don't like getting other women into trouble bc of my 4-way temper...LOL...
    But here is a suggestion... sit down with him ask him what he would like to start as a YOUR own family tradition for Thanksgiving... then do it... and while you are at it you had better discuss Christmas b4 the Ham issue becomes an all out 4 ring brawl.... LOL...
    Good Luck and Happy Holidays

    Answer by gmasboy at 4:57 PM on Nov. 23, 2009

  • It sounds to me that HAVING a turkey is more important to him than NOT HAVING a turkey is to you. I would compromise. Maybe get a deep fryer so HE can cook the turkey every year?
    Traditions are something that you wont fully realize until you have experienced them. He has probably been doing it this way since he was a child. Those memories are important to him and he wants your children to someday look back and have the same good memories of Thanksgiving dinner.

    Answer by jenellemarie at 5:18 PM on Nov. 23, 2009

  • I'm so glad I told my husband before we were ever married that I hated cooking.  He told me that okay because I don't mind going out and eating.  That sure took off the pressure of me slaving away in the kitchen.  LOL  

    Personality I'm into tradition and that only because I wanted my kids to grow up with a sense of warmth during the holidays.  The sense of wonderful memories that will carry on for years on end long after they leave my household.  So, during the holidays I really am not into the whole gift giving because my cooking is enough of a gift for them.  They look forward to the holiday because of my cooking. 



    Answer by Anonymous at 5:21 PM on Nov. 23, 2009

  • for me thanksgiving is a tradition gained through residency - i'm from europe, where there is not such. do i celebrate? still i do. i do not do a whole turkey, just a breast for the 2 of us (well 3, but baby is a baby). i hate leftovers. good till next day, the rest usually would go to garbage (but i cook to scale - dimention). being u i wouldn't say a word. i'd just cook, all my way, w/ none culinary recepie and it would be it. since thanksgiving & christmass are so close let him chose which one to cook for and which to dine at. for the one in home i'd make him and kids to help w/ cooking, fun, faster, and ... than only it would be a FAMILY TRADITION. have even pictures taken of the moments. if you prefer stylish, i'd print out few delicious recepies for turkey meel, have him chose, do the gloceries for it ALSO as a FAMILY to start w/, and cook w/ details to the point he would either willingly continue next year or compromise

    Answer by baby133 at 5:26 PM on Nov. 23, 2009

  • If it were me, I would just cook the Thanksgiving meal but make it small, manageable. Do a turkey, a vegetable, some mashed potatoes, stuffing and a pie. That doesn't take too much work. We love allt he holidays so I don't have that issue, just with hubby not wanting to decorate at Christmas lol but he has no issue with me doing it. If it is that important to your husband to start family traditions, talk to him about exactly what he would like that tradition to be, and ways that he could help take all the burden of preparation off of you. Make it a family thing like the previous post suggested. Have him cook the turkey, you do the pie, the kids do the vegetables (if they are old enough). Make it fun.

    Answer by AprilDJC at 6:03 PM on Nov. 23, 2009

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