Do you hate that feeling that you get when you just finished spanking your child?

Well, the one thing that stands out to me is that you "ask" him to do things and when he refuses you get angry. You ask him, he has the right to refuse. Now, if you TELL him that's something different.

If you tell him to do something and he refuses, send him to the corner (nose in) to stand there until he decides he is ready to do what he was told. No time limit. When he says "I'll do what I was told" then let him out of time out as long as he then does what he was told. If he still doesn't do it immediately, he goes right back into the corner.

STOP spanking him!! He is 8 years old and old enough to talk to about his behavior. He is old enough to understand what is appropriate and what is inappropriate. When he talks back or is disrespectful, SEND HIM TO HIS ROOM, hand him a box and tell him to start packing ALL his things. He can keep his bed, clothes and books. NOTHING ELSE. No electronics, no toys, etc. He earn each item back by listening, being respectful and showing appropriate behavior. NO child needs to be spanked to be well behaved. My son hasn't been spanked since he was 4 and he is now 13. Before the age of 4, I can count on one hand the number of times he was spanked. That feeling you are getting? It's called GUILT. You know spanking is not working and you feel bad. Get the book "1 2 3 Magic"...read it and follow it. You will be surprised at how quickly and easy it works.

You are admitting spanking is not working, so quit doing it. You are being abusive to your child.

taking all the the things that he loves away works better for an 8 yo. Also, take miniutes off his bed time...that is a really good one! You are not abusing your child, but spanking is better for younger kids ;)

If it is not working then stop.
take things away
make him sit in his bed no tv no toys only a book or the kitchen table(I do this with my son)
have him go to bed early
no play date not tv no games, he can only color, write, draw or read books

Spank him bare butt. He needs to feel the sting. Don't feel guilty about it. There is nothing wrong with disciplining your child. It is not abuse. It is effective when done consistently.

taking all the the things that he loves away works better for an 8 yo. Also, take miniutes off his bed time...that is a really good one! You are not abusing your child, but spanking is better for younger kids ;)

I agree

NO, I don't hate the feeling I get. I discipline my children because I love them and want them to grow up to be good people... Why would I ever feel bad for doing it? If you feel bad, change what you are doing - alter your discipline to something you can stand behind comfortably. If you aren't comfortable with what you are doing, you won't stand strong when you need to...

Well spanking isn't working./ Personal I dont' "ask" my kids to do anything. I tell them, if they choose NOT to, then the choose to be punished. All consequences are clearly laid out. For example, "You chose not to eat what is for dinner, then you chose to go hungary" no if, ands, butts about it.

Are you serious? Obviously it's not working and if in 8 years, you haven't been able to find an effective way of disciplining your child, maybe you should re evaluate the way you discipline him. The AAP says there is NO less effective way of disciplining than spanking. It teaches your children to fear you and seriously hurts their feelings of security. Look it up. I really hope you can find a way to teach your son respect & right from wrong without having to hurt him. & I like how the person who said to hit his bare butt, only did so anonymously. Speaks volumes doesn't it? If she was proud of her advice I don't think she would've hesitated to share her name. We will all see when her kid grows up & doesn't think twice about hitting people.