Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Does your SO still 'take care of' himself if you are not around or not in the mood?

I came home today and there was something on my sheet! I asked what it was, but had an idea, and did not get a direct answer, then the answer was "you have your period and you weren't home" so I knew what it was! I asked why it had to be on the sheet, he leaves his dirty clothes lying around everywhere, he couldn't just pick up a tshirt or something?! Ugh, men.
It doesn't really bother me too much, just that my ex became addicted to porn and it ruined our marriage and DF knows this, so he usually kind of keeps it kind of secretive, he wouldn't lie about it, but I told him long ago that I just didn't want to know about it, and this is the first time I have known about it in a long time!
Does your SO do this too? Does it bother you?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 8:28 PM on Nov. 23, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (9)
  • yes it bothers me, but not enough to start an arguement. I would rather him be having sex with me, then pleasuring but i pleasure myself also, and he does not mind at all. Its something all men do(even men, whose wifes would disagree) Dont let it get you down. You are still beautiful + sexy to your husband. He knew you had problmes in your past with porn, so that is why he is being so hush hush about it. It doesnt change how he feels about you.

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:35 PM on Nov. 23, 2009

  • Men are nasty as hell lol, my husband says when i don't give he has to releave himself, but does so in the shower " need to start puttin on shower shoes lol " but he has NEVER done it it my bed " or not that i have ever found anyway" I think if i was to find something on my sheets i would kill his ass. So i guess if i were you i would tell him to at least do his business in the shower, or at least have some paper towels and or a wash cloth or something next time,
    GOOD LUCK............

    Answer by shercarico at 8:39 PM on Nov. 23, 2009

  • Well I guess because at one time my husband was also addicted to porn, it would bother me...He has overcome the addiction, but if that were on my would make me worry all over again, even if it were nothing. But that's just me.

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:42 PM on Nov. 23, 2009

  • Yes he does it but no it doesn't bother me

    Answer by admckenzie at 9:17 PM on Nov. 23, 2009

  • Nope. My husband knows I don't like him doing it so he doesn't. Like last night he really wanted sex but I couldn't due to a procedure I had done today. So he just suffered like me.

    Answer by purpleducky at 11:04 AM on Nov. 24, 2009

  • I am sure he does it, he doesn't share with me everytime and I don't ask but I really don't care. I feel sorry for the poor women on here who think their husbands aren't human and don't ever take care of themselves. Delusional.....LOL It's human nature and I am not sure why it would bother anyone, just because someone masterbates does not mean they are addicted to porn. I do it and so does he and I don't think it has any effect on our relationship other then maybe make it more honest and take some pressure off eachother.

    Answer by michelle2414 at 1:01 PM on Nov. 24, 2009

  • Michelle - some have self control. It isn't a need. It's a want. And some understand this. Do you think all women masturbate too? Men are like women, both can hold out and not have sex or masturbate for a bit. Someone isn't saying just because one masturbates that they are addicted to porn. Some just prefer our spouses not to do it and prefer not to do it ourselves.

    Answer by purpleducky at 1:09 PM on Nov. 24, 2009

  • purpleducky - It doesn't sound like it's "self" control for your husband. As you stated he doesn't do it because you don't like it and that means you're controlling him. Why would you deny your husband one of the most natural things in the world? The one thing that can help someone sleep, relieve stress, lift your mood and even help better one's sex life. If I ever had a spouse tell me what I can and cannot do with my own body in private his s**t would be out the door. That is very controlling and un-healthy for a relationship.

    BTW - I think either one of you is lying or you both have an un-healthy veiw of sex and your bodies. IMO

    Answer by michelle2414 at 6:57 PM on Nov. 24, 2009

  • So because he doesn't do something out of respect for me I am controlling him? Ok, whatever. Go ahead and think that we are lying and that our relationship is unhealthy. Just because something is different or someone else's relationship works differently doesn't mean it is wrong.

    Answer by purpleducky at 8:39 PM on Nov. 24, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.