Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

I am afraid for my brother

So, really long story short, my older brother was with this girl for like, 7 years. She was a BASKET CASE. She emotionally tortured him, made him give up all his friends, played conquer-and-divide with his family, used drugs, bled his bank acct. dry, etc, etc. She was so manipulative that I watched my brother go from being a semi-confident, successful, sane person to a pathetic, questioning-his-own-sanity psycho mess. My bro finally went off the deep end and three days after they moved out of state together he went missing and was gone for a week b4 turning up 3 states away. They broke it off and she moved away. But, a year later, she moved back in w/ him, after he relocated again (he said he was lonely, and that she had "changed"). But the same thing started all over, w/ her becoming more psycho than before (she constantly accused him of cheating, going so far as to make fake Facebook pages of girls to accuse (cont'd)

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 11:13 PM on Nov. 23, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (4)
  • (con't) him of cheating on her with. He got fed up again, and hatched this wild plan to get her out of his life, by moving w/ her again and after getting her settled, running for his life. He came home for awhile, then moved again to a city he's always wanted to live in, to "start fresh". I was so proud of him - it felt like I had my brother back. He called me every day to talk, texted me and emailed me a lot, and we got along great. Now, suddenly, the talking has stopped again. He rarely emails me, and his answers to mine are short and snippy. He suddenly decided NOT to come visit for Thanksgiving, and I'm afraid he has gotten back together with this B**** again. But I don't know how to confront him about it - if he hasn't, he'll be insulted that I even thought such a thing. Any advice???

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:16 PM on Nov. 23, 2009

  • There is nothing you can do, try not to worry. Hopefully next time he disappears he'll call you so you won't worry. Best of luck to you and your brother.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:17 PM on Nov. 23, 2009

  • Oh that sounds so hard, I'm sorry. The hard thing is, even if you do find out he's with her, there's not much you can do, as PP said. He's making a habit of getting back with her. Even though their relationship is crummy, there's probably some pretty serious co-dependent bond there that's hard to break. Either way, all you can do is be there for him. If I were you, that's what I'd tell him. Let him know you can tell something's wrong, and whatever it is, you're there for him. Good luck! I hope he'll open up to you again!

    Answer by Adelicious at 11:20 PM on Nov. 23, 2009

  • I am going through the same thing with my brother. I didn't talk to him for six years because after my mother died she had convinced him that I some how was responsible for my mother passing. (turning the machines off because she was brain dead). Now they are some what a part. And I just text my brother every few days, call every once in awhile and never bring her up or ask questions. I just want him to know I am here for him when ever he needs me. It is very hard and I am sorry you are going through this. Just keep your head up and just let him know you love him.

    Answer by dolphinkisses at 12:58 AM on Nov. 24, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.