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Wonder if I'm doing the right thing by keeping quiet about DDs friend's BF?

My dd, 15 has a friend who, like my dd, isn't allowed to date until 16. They seem to be gearing up for that from what I'm hearing/seeing. My dd has a bf in school who we aren't too fond of (was at the house before), but still likes him. Now the friend has also been asked by someone to "go out", and met up w/him at the Homecoming dance 2 weeks ago, pretty innocent supervised stuff. But, her Mom doesn't know about it and when My dd told me I said "well, she's not supposed to be dating" and my dd said "well, if I'd known that I wouldn't have told you" I assured her I wasn't going to say anything. But, I saw an e-mail left open on the computer where this friend said "Maybe we can meet at the movies and (BF) will meet us there, too, tee, hee." It never happened, but now I'm thinking she's a bit sneaky. My dd has been honest about her communications w/her bf, not sneaky at all..she knows she better not!

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dflygirl7

Asked by dflygirl7 at 9:04 AM on Nov. 24, 2009 in Relationships

381 Level 10
Answers (3)

  • You are in a no win situation. I feel for you. But saying something will betray your daughters trust and not tell makes you a irresponsible adult. Its a hard call. If you care you should tell. I know it won't make you feel good at all. But If I found out that you were letting my daughter sneak around you are just as guilty as they are. You need to talk to them and let them know.  You are the adult. What if someone was to do that to you?? How would you feel?? Just think about that.
    akmami0f4

    Answer by akmami0f4 at 9:31 AM on Nov. 24, 2009

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  • I do have to wonder why she left the e-mail open for anyone to see.
    dflygirl7

    Answer by dflygirl7 at 9:44 AM on Nov. 24, 2009

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  • I honestly don't think the friend is any different then any other 15 year old girl. Boy and girls at that age do go to the movies together in groups and they do meet up at dances. Now if the friend was alone with the boy in a car or doing something that she really shouldn't be doing, then you and your daughter needs to have a talk.
    Just a few weeks ago my sons best friend told him she was having sex with her boyfriend, unprotected. He went straight to her mother and told her, he was very upset that his friend would do something so silly. This girl is also 15, so see, you are lucky that your daughter thinks better then many 15 year old girls. But honestly, often friends will tell on each other if they know their friend is doing something that could harm them, as my son did his friend. Just expain to your daughter that even if something is considered cool by others that doesnt make it cool.
    Good luck!
    ronjwake

    Answer by ronjwake at 3:13 PM on Nov. 24, 2009

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