Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Anxiety about going back to work

I had my baby boy 8 weeks ago (after trying for such a long time) and have to go back to work soon. I have an enormous amount of anxiety and some guilt about going back. I am truly dreading it. I wish I could stay home with him but our financial situation will not allow that to happen.

Does anyone have any advice on how to get past this awful feeling? Thanks.

Answer Question
 
Maxsmommy0909

Asked by Maxsmommy0909 at 10:00 AM on Nov. 24, 2009 in Babies (0-12 months)

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (16)
  • ugh...im in the same boat...ive been out of work since JULY! and i had my son Oct 28th. my doc put me out of work and now i am so used to being at home doing all the "mom" things and i dont want to go back. im going to hate to have to leave him. so i need advice too i guess.

    its weird i was going to post the same question, until i saw yours
    danette624

    Answer by danette624 at 10:04 AM on Nov. 24, 2009

  • Trust me when I say this, your son will need you at home so much more between the ages of 12 and 18 than he does now. Now is the time to build for your future: get a great jump on retirement and college savings. Get your career established so you have more flexibility later.

    Good luck!!
    rkoloms

    Answer by rkoloms at 10:05 AM on Nov. 24, 2009

  • I'm a firm believer in down sizing your life in order to raise your own children. Babies and toddlers don't belong in daycare. They belong at home.

    Get a smaller house, seel one of your cars, start buying generic everything, quit eating out, etc. Do what it takes to raise your kids.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:08 AM on Nov. 24, 2009

  • Is it cheaper paying for a day care provider?

    Alot of people I know don't work, because paying for a provider is not worth it.

    If it is pennies to you, then cut back, and enjoy your baby.
    KFree907

    Answer by KFree907 at 10:09 AM on Nov. 24, 2009

  • Is working part time and cutting back on non essentials an option. If it is not than rest assured that you are going back to work for your family. That is what is best. Ideally one parent would stay home and take care of the kids, but in this economy it is sometimes not an option.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:11 AM on Nov. 24, 2009

  • If you can, go back part time for 2 weeks. It will help you ease back into work life rather than the quick jump. If not, just try not to think about it while you are at work. Baby will be fine. Day cares, grandparents, home care etc. have had much experience dealing with kids and will be able to care for your child just fine. He will be in good hands. If he's in day care, you'll be surprised at the things he learns from the other kids, too! :) *hugs* it will get easier once you get back into the work rhythm.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:14 AM on Nov. 24, 2009

  • I would DOWNSIZE DOWNSIZE DOWNSIZE.
    I disagree with rkoloms, It is PROVEN FACT that t he first five years of life are critical for children’s physical, cognitive, and emotional development.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:17 AM on Nov. 24, 2009

  • I do feel sorry for some moms that do have to work. But not all because rkoloms is very WRONG kids need you when they are young, this when you teach them your values so when they do become teens they will stay out some trouble.

    I think like anonymous cut back if you can and stay home. But if your family is use to two pay checks and can not cut back than, just make sure you check on the people who will be caring for your child. Make sure to drop in and check to see how your son is being taken care of.
    I always say if can wait till they (babies)can talk before going back to work. They can tell you what they did that day.
    gammie

    Answer by gammie at 10:26 AM on Nov. 24, 2009

  • Thanks, everyone.

    I wish we could downsize, believe me that would be my preference. I would love to be a stay-at- home mom. I am the primary bread winner in the family and we have talked about my husband staying home with the baby but I know, without doubt, that I would resent him for "getting" to stay home when I want to. We have bills, mortgage, car payments...all of the normal things that everyone has so I don't see a way to stay home even though I want to.

    I know that I am lucky to have a job (and I also carry the family insurance...yet another reason) but right now I am not feeling so lucky.

    I have found my baby a very trustworthy sitter, who is also a family friend. He will be one of only two children in her care. I know that is a good situation yet I still want to be the one taking care of him. Ugh.
    Maxsmommy0909

    Answer by Maxsmommy0909 at 10:28 AM on Nov. 24, 2009

  • I went through this too. With my first, I was crying every night just imagining leaving him. It was extremely hard in the beginning. But then you develop a routine. You will see your baby thriving. You'll see you still spend a lot of time together. My kids loved daycare. They have friends there and lots of activities and it just becomes normal. Find someone you trust. You'll be fine - you'll see!! Good luck!
    mompam

    Answer by mompam at 10:53 AM on Nov. 24, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.
close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN