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How do I regain my sanity?

I have lost my adulthood to my kids! I have not seen an R movie since they were born, TV consists of Yo Gabba Gabba, Dora, etc... and the last great novel I have read in the past year has been Cat in the Hat! Not to mention that last time hubby and I have had any 'fun' together was when we were TTC! Help I am lost and don't know how to get back!!! Do any of you ever feel this way and if so what do you do to keep hold of your adult hood?

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 12:02 PM on Nov. 24, 2009 in General Parenting

Answers (12)
  • Hire a babysitter once a week for the 2 of you to go out. Hire a babysitter one day a week just for your own time.
    EireLass

    Answer by EireLass at 12:13 PM on Nov. 24, 2009

  • I wonder what ages your children are. When they are teeny, it is really hard to schedule your time, but after the first couple of months, there should be enough of a schedule that you can find 30 minutes or so every day to spend with your husband. Bedroom doors have locks, and they should be used when the children get old enough to possibly wander in. It's very important that you keep your marital relationship top priority. Your children will live in your home for 18-20 years. Hopefully, your hubby will be around much longer than that. If you don't keep your marriage at the top now, when the children are gone, you won't have much left to work with.
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 12:16 PM on Nov. 24, 2009

  • They are all under 5. We tried to do the sneaky thing of having fun at like 3am in the morning thinking they were all asleep but Murphy had other plans :-( They just seem to know, no matter how quiet we are that they need to get up and either come in our room because of the monster or they have to have a drink. I swear there is a ghost in my house that just shakes them till they wake up , when it sees us attempting something. Hubby keeps asking me if they have been invited to any christmas parties so we can take them and then run to the closest hotel before the party is over. lol
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:22 PM on Nov. 24, 2009

  • I definately feel this way almost all the time. My husband and I put the kids to bed and then snuggle on the couch and watch TV, or we snuggle in bed and watch a movie. It's our time together to just be together without chassing our toddler around. Naps are MY time to do whatever it is I need/want to do. This means clean the house, or I can sit on my patoot for those two-three hours and do nothing but browse the interweb. Whatever I want to do. My parents come up to visit (live two hours from them) and they are always happy to babysit while we run off and have fun together. It's our chance to just be ourselves without kids, and my parents get to have their time with the kids.
    JazzlikeMraz

    Answer by JazzlikeMraz at 12:50 PM on Nov. 24, 2009

  • I'm not really sure what to do about it, I just wanted to let you know that you're not alone. I get on kicks quite often about how I've "lost me" since we had a child. As she gets older though I'm finding myself again...little bits at a time.
    Best of luck.
    drpepper73

    Answer by drpepper73 at 12:59 PM on Nov. 24, 2009

  • Have your bedroom be off limits, have them knock before they come in. That is YOUR santuary and special place and your kids should understand and respect that. it sounds like if you set more boundaries you would have time for yourself. If they don't all nap have quiet time, or reading time so you can get things done. I agree with ohter posters abot hiring a babysitter, we have one girl we love and she will come with very little notice when I'm ready to pull out my hair! It's nice!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:12 PM on Nov. 24, 2009

  • Keep a array of snacks in the nite stand . Brownies are the best!
    When the kids are in their rooms for the nite both of ya sneak into your room.. lock the door... and pig out. The kids 'll never have a clue you got your chocolate fix w/out them! wooohahahahahah.... no really you need to have a set time each month where you hire a sitter and you and spouse have alone time.
    momof4kids257

    Answer by momof4kids257 at 3:41 PM on Nov. 24, 2009

  • Courage this too will pass. Date nights are great and take a weekend to go away or send the kids to spend the night with relatives whenever you can. But this will pass, shortly.

    teamquinn

    Answer by teamquinn at 7:04 PM on Nov. 24, 2009

  • Welcome to motherhood:)
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:04 PM on Nov. 24, 2009

  • Thanks for all your ideas and support it is comforting to know you are not alone. Hubby likes the idea of a date night and thinks his folks would be ok watching the kids one night a month. They live closer then my folks. We both have said how we miss going to the movies and to the comedy clubs.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:22 PM on Nov. 24, 2009

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