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In a nutshell, we spent Christmas last year with my famil that lives 3 hours away. My MIL wants us here this year with her family. I think thats fair. But now she wants us here for TG too. She is emailing me saying "this seems like a chore, do what u want for your family" and Im like...this isnt a chore! I just want to make sure everyone gets a piece of everyone!
I suggested us being here for TG with her and then Christmas eve go to mass with her and her family and then christmas dinner on christmas day have dinner at TWELVE instead of TWO. So that allows us to leave out town before dark to make it 3 hours away to see MY family at THEIR gathering. I think thats fair? Do you all? ANy help?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 12:30 PM on Nov. 24, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (9)
  • I think that is fair. Its really hard trying to divide up the time. She is just going to have to understand that you are doing the best you can. If she can't change the meal time then maybe you could just go over and see them for a while. We switch every other year on 4th of July so when its our turn to be at my parents for the night time part we go to his parents during the day so that everyone gets to share some of the time together. Its hard sometimes but you can make it work.


    Answer by Frogbaby83 at 12:33 PM on Nov. 24, 2009

  • If my mil acted that way I wouldnt go to her gathering at all... I would say okay you ruined it for yourself you can have someone drop the kids' gifts off or whatever but its the holidays and all the families need to be involved not just yours.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:34 PM on Nov. 24, 2009

  • Your idea sounds like a good plan

    Answer by admckenzie at 12:37 PM on Nov. 24, 2009

  • yea i think ur being more than fair. Im faced with the splitting of holidays too. Dh and I just got married this past may, so this is our first official set of holiday...his family for TG and mines for Xmas, my family lives 3.5 hrs away also, and I dont think I want to be running up and down the hwy on the holidays....gud luk

    Answer by kiyad22 at 12:42 PM on Nov. 24, 2009

  • It sounds fair. I hope it all works out for your family.

    Answer by Bmat at 12:53 PM on Nov. 24, 2009

  • I think you are being way more than fair. It is common for families to alternate holidays. It seems as if she is trying to throw a guilt trip on you to get your way. Stay strong, lol, and have hubby talk to her if need be. It seems like you are already going over and above.

    Answer by WindyTheWidow at 12:54 PM on Nov. 24, 2009

  • You are being fair. She should be happy you are making an effort to spend time with her. My MIL only lives 2 hours away but because of work and money trouble, we hardly ever go to her house for the holidays. She never complains but I know she would like it if we could make it out there more often.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:05 PM on Nov. 24, 2009

  • I would state the facts, and not let her have an opinon....Say this year we are going to my family for Thanksgiving , but on Friday we can get together at my house for round two, and this year we will be spending Christmas Eve with your family and Christmas day with my family. Next year we will switch. IF she pouts or wines say. The kids enjoy seeing everyone for the holidays. If she continues...have your hubby deal with's his mom...he should tell her when enough is enough.

    Answer by abbyg at 1:10 PM on Nov. 24, 2009

  • You are being very fair. If she does not like it you can say- well either we compromise and do it this way-- as we have a right to see my family too, OR if you are not willing to compromise then we will be going to see my family instead. Your choice.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:30 PM on Nov. 24, 2009

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