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I am nothing more then a nanny.....I am with my son 24/7 and my husband gets so flipped out if I even take a night off. I desreve a break right?

At home I am home 24/7 with my 5 yr old son and my 2 older daughters. I have one in college 4 hours away.
I came down to pick her up for Thanksgiving and she told me she would like to take her brother for the night so I can time to my self.
I thought this was sweet and told my husband I'm staying another night because the 2 kids are going to hang out alone for one night. Those 2 have a big night planned and I am lost but hurt because my husband thinks now that I'm not tied down I will go out get drunk, have fun ...heavan forbid If I have fun!!!

I do not know the last time I had free time...my husband goes away every weekend...alone....yet I can't even go to the store alone.
Is this fair? I feel so hurt and angry I don't even want to go home and actually this kind of resentment makes me want to go out and be rebellious!!!!!

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 1:34 PM on Nov. 24, 2009 in General Parenting

Answers (23)
  • Oh hon! Are we married to the same guy??? My Husband is the same way. he works nights, so I feel like a single mom. He's home when DD's asleep and asleep in the morning when she's awake. Since he is always at work, I never get a happy hour, or a few hours with friends. He, on the other hand, gets out of work at midnight and will go out after work to have a few cocktails w/ his work ppl. I think this is so unfair. I don't mind him making time to do that, but when do I get to have adult time??? He also plays football Sat. mornings and softball on Sunday Evenings and I never complain, but if I say, "Hey I'd like a night out with the girls, he gets all bent outta shape and throws down a guilt trip. We argue about this all of the time and still have no resolution... So, if you figure it out, please PM me!
    kenzie07

    Answer by kenzie07 at 1:42 PM on Nov. 24, 2009

  • You're an adult. Why would you need permission or approval from your husband?
    Kimposible

    Answer by Kimposible at 1:43 PM on Nov. 24, 2009

  • Hmmm I think I would be sitting down and asking him why it is that he goes away for weekends on his own, but you can't even go to the store alone? Sorry, but this would send up a red flag to me. Either one of two things because I don't know either one of you personally. Either you have a past which he disagrees with and feels you might return to if given the chance, or he is having an affair and is in fear you might do the same. You know your situation and your spouse better than anyone, but this is what came to mind when I read the post. Enjoy the time you have for self you do deserve it.
    JoyceTN

    Answer by JoyceTN at 1:43 PM on Nov. 24, 2009

  • He sounds a bit controlling to me. Of course you deserve a break!!!!
    outstandingLove

    Answer by outstandingLove at 1:46 PM on Nov. 24, 2009

  • OP~
    Hey Kenzie07!
    Good to hear I'm not alone, but yeah it's really a hot topic with us and you know what's funny....he could never be around his son 24/7 they way I am......His son is a throphy child, I swear by it!!
    He will even observe my parenting and tell me what to do or to change the way I'm doing things, or I don't have to raise my voice, etc.,etc.,
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:47 PM on Nov. 24, 2009

  • OP~

    No there is nothing in my past for him to act this way......However his last 2 wives cheated......and I can understand why they did.....but I'm not a cheater and he knows it.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:49 PM on Nov. 24, 2009

  • In my situation, my husband just has a double standard...He can do what he wants, but when I want to make time for friends, he says we don't get enough time together. I get so angry about this.
    kenzie07

    Answer by kenzie07 at 1:49 PM on Nov. 24, 2009

  • Sounds like you need to put him in his place. Maybe take off next weekend and leave the kids with him. GIve him a taste of reality. Give him a list of chores that you usually do. When he gets cranky and whiny, just let him know it's only a *taste* of what you do and that he needs to back off and let you have some time to your self. You deserve it too!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:55 PM on Nov. 24, 2009

  • i think you should take every night off this weekend leaving HIM to care for your kids, then see if he cares about one night again, why doyou let him control you like that??
    AmaliaD

    Answer by AmaliaD at 2:16 PM on Nov. 24, 2009

  • I feel your pain. I went to a movie last weekend, I was gone just over 2 hours. It was the first time I have been out of the house by myself to a place other than the grocery story in over 2 years. He was pissy the whole day. It all but ruined my time out. I had been waiting to see that movie for months. Of course he forgets all the times he has to stay out after work till whenever he feels like coming home. God forbid his drinking buddies not come before his wife and children. I swear my 3 year old is more mature.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:44 PM on Nov. 24, 2009

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