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What do you say to a friend that has just been informed her daughter is autistic?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:39 PM on Jun. 24, 2008 in Kids' Health

Answers (8)
  • Tell her..I will be here for you. I love you. Can I do anything. Give her hugs and a shoulder to cry on.
    MommasCooCoo

    Answer by MommasCooCoo at 10:49 PM on Jun. 24, 2008

  • One thing you can do is to do some research on the topic... not so you can become a know it all, but just so you can have informed conversations with her about it when she wants to talk. Plus, if you're up to speed on her DD's condition, you could offer to help, babysit, play, etc. What do you say to her? Tell her you're sorry to hear the unfortunate news, but that you're here for her & her family. Try to avoid things like, "Well at least she's still cute" or "At least your other kid is normal" or other things that might seem demeaning.
    crazysocks830

    Answer by crazysocks830 at 11:28 PM on Jun. 24, 2008

  • IF you want to, I would ask her if you could learn the information with her. I think that having someone there while she was going through all of it would help, and then you two could understand it together.
    lynenedubbels

    Answer by lynenedubbels at 2:29 PM on Jun. 25, 2008

  • Just be there for her. I recently found out my son has it and it is one of the hardest things I have went through. But I have done it alone, I would have loved to have had a friend that cared as much as you. I would resarch about autism so you can better understand her child and just let her know u love her and are there to help with anything she needs. Good luck
    redtang912

    Answer by redtang912 at 8:05 PM on Jun. 25, 2008

  • As someone whose child will probably be diagnosed with this, my suggestions are 1) be there for her and LISTEN to her vent. Even if you can't relate, just having a sounding board will help her.
    2) ask her if there's anything you can do for her. Depending on the severity of things, she may need a break from time to time because of the child's behavior (if the child has meltdowns, or horrible fits, etc.)
    3) Offer to babysit. She may or may not take you up on the offer, depending on her comfort level and the child's behavior, but if she does, she may be extremely specific about things because if her daughter is like my child, he is very particular about certain things -- it's not like watching a typical child. So, know that you'll need to follow her instructions carefully.
    4) try to refrain from comparing or sharing stories about your child (if you have any close to her daughter's age), unless she sincerely asks. This could diminish what she's going through.
    NovaChk

    Answer by NovaChk at 9:44 PM on Jun. 26, 2008

  • If she doesn't have Jenny McCarthy's book (her son is autistic) get it for her.
    TXdanielly

    Answer by TXdanielly at 11:14 PM on Jul. 6, 2008

  • One thing that would be helpful is to offer to babysit once in awhile to give her a break. It can be challenging taking care of them all the time depending on their behaviour, so a break helps. Our pastor's daughter has an autistic son. They did some kind of light therapy for him which has helped a lot. Also those who change their cleaners, laundry products, etc. to safer, nontoxic products notice quite a bit of difference. If you think she would like to know where to get safer products that have helped others, let me know and I would be glad to talk with her.
    MentorByDesign

    Answer by MentorByDesign at 5:00 PM on Jul. 10, 2008

  • just be there for her, listen to her and BE SUPPORTIVE, offer to help her find out everything you can to help, there are alot of resources out there.
    Princess_s21

    Answer by Princess_s21 at 11:38 PM on Jul. 14, 2008

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