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I put my baby up for adoption 8 weeks ago and now I cant even eat. Help?

I am just not hungry. Ever. I have to force myself to eat. Is it stress or something else. I feel ok emotionally. I mean its hard but I am taking it day by day. Im trying to take care of myself but its so hard when I cant even bring myself to eat. I feel like whats the point, shes not inside me anymore. Please help I dont want to feel like this anymore.

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Asked by kirstenshaye at 4:53 PM on Nov. 24, 2009 in Adoption

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Answers (11)
  • You need to see a therapist. Even if you think you are managing you may need something extra GL

    Answer by Steph319 at 4:54 PM on Nov. 24, 2009

  • Id also find out what vitamins/supplements will help so that you get the nutrition you need

    Answer by Steph319 at 4:55 PM on Nov. 24, 2009

  • You are probably feeling a tremendous loss. I agree with Steph and think that talking to a therapist could really help you. God Bless sweetie.

    Answer by MamaChamp at 4:56 PM on Nov. 24, 2009

  • You can have PPD even without your baby being there. I strongly suggest talking to your doctor or OB to begin with, and ask them to recommend someone/something to help. Also, see if there are birthparent support groups in your area. I went through a lot when my baby was born and I had to "lose" her twice over - I didn't have any other resources to turn to though, and I feel it's affected me in various ways over the last 10 years. It's not an easy road, I'm not going to lie, and you will go through so many emotions over the next while, but over time it will lessen. Don't let it numb you though - if you stay "down" too long it can lead to other problems. Please seek out professional help soon, but don't forget to greive either - you need the greiving period just as much as you need to look to the future.

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:27 PM on Nov. 24, 2009

  • You are suffering from ppd for sure. You are grieving. You have suffered a major loss. In your mind you may think you are fine, but when we suffer such a loss our body does strange things as defense mechanisms like, emotions are blank, loss of appetite, loss of sleep, too much sleep. The tears and hurt may come later. It may be too intense for you to cope with right now and it's your body and mind's way of coping. Just make sure you get help. I have lost a child myself. If you ever need to talk pm me any time. Add me and we'll IM a little more. Don't allow others to make you feel guilty or more upset either. Just focus on what you have control over right here right now. My heart goes out to you. I really hope you find peace in your journey, I really do! You are just getting started.

    Answer by Steff107 at 5:45 PM on Nov. 24, 2009

  • Just know in your heart you did the right thing if you felt like you couldnt be the best parent you could be. Talk to someone. Therapy. You are depressed, which happens anyway after giving birth.

    Answer by forevermom75 at 6:38 PM on Nov. 24, 2009

  • Can you still legally get your baby back? PPD for sure, but also prob tons of regret and grieving for a loss that many will tell you is unimportant. Find out if you are legally able to get your baby back. If so, push for it. Eight weeks isn't that long and if the adoption was pressured or coerced, you have a good chance at getting her back.

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:59 PM on Nov. 24, 2009

  • I am very sorry for your pain. I would strongly suggest talking to your doctor about this; maybe he/she can put you on something that will help you eat and cope easier, and the previous posters idea of speaking to a therapist is not a bad idea either. It's a very hard thing to do to place your child up for adoption, and no matter if it was for the best the decisions impact is a huge impact on your life. You will need time to heal and until then please seek help.

    Answer by Knightquester at 7:17 PM on Nov. 24, 2009

  • It sounds more like depression than stress. I'm not familiar with PPD, I didn't have this. However I wouldn't minimize the impact of this loss, please talk to your doctor, if possible look into counseling with someone familiar with adoption, that has worked with other birth mothers to help through the grief.
    I was very depressed after placing my son, but after a few weeks I tucked it all away thinking that I shouldn't be feeling that way. It wasn't until about 3 or 4 years ago, it flooded back. It has impacted my current children, my husband, myself, my depression was and is debilitating.
    I wish some one had told me to get help after placement, before I made the mistakes and decisions I made 17 years after the fact because of the grief I was dealing with.
    While you probably feel good in your decision, it doesn't take the pain away. ***HUGS***

    Answer by blessedwboysx3 at 11:56 AM on Nov. 25, 2009

  • In the easiest of situations, financially, mentally, physically, and emotionally, childbirth is a big stress. Many movie stars who seem to have everything even get PPD.

    You've not only given birth, which is a huge influx of hormones, instinctive feelings, but it's also something that so many women don't talk about. I urge you to talk to your doctor, and to talk with some other mom's who've placed children before. It's the hardest thing you'll ever do. I've also experienced different losses of a husband and child in death, and I can tell you that time does ease the pain. 8 weeks isn't very long in the big picture. Clinical depression is also common among first moms, because in addition to the hormones, the body can get the regular chemicals mixed up in it too, and cause depression horribly. Talk to your doctor, as a few blood tests will be necessary to see what is causing the depression biologically. If you don't h

    Answer by sizesmith at 8:12 PM on Nov. 28, 2009

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