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Does anyone else wish they could work instead of being a SAHM?

I wish like crazy that I could be the one to go to work but I could never make as much as my husband. We only have one baby that is 16 months and I so I haven't been a SAHM that long and I already hate it. I hate cooking, grociery shopping, doing laundry, and pretty much everything domestic. The problem is that when I look for jobs I only qualify for the kind where I don't make enough that it be worth it after paying for daycare. I feel so stuck and hopeless and I was just wanting to know how others felt and maybe what you did to feel better?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 10:18 PM on Nov. 24, 2009 in Money & Work

Answers (10)
  • You're not the only one. You need to find things to occupy your mind during the housework. For me, it's listening to NPR. It makes me feel like a grown-up.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:21 PM on Nov. 24, 2009

  • I don't think I can leave my baby in a daycare unless I'm making more than my dh plus i trust myself better when it comes on domestic chores and caring for our baby.

    Answer by masipagwapa at 10:30 PM on Nov. 24, 2009

  • Yeah I feel that way whenever the kids are having a bad day and the house is messy, so pretty much everyday! lol!
    But usually that feeling only lasts for a short amount of time. For me to get out of that feeling I will have to leave the house. Go to a park with my boys, or the mall playplace, etc. That usually gives me a bit of time when they are happy to play by themselves. Also like PP said I trust myself to take care of the kids way more than a daycare, even DH I think would do a "sub par" job. I did work at 3 different daycares when I was younger and that is when I promised myself that my kids would never spend even a day in daycare. Just thinking back to those days snaps me right out of it!
    I guess the best thing is to see the forest through the trees. This time in your DD life will only last a short while. You won't believe how fast it went once she is older. Then you will have decades to work and focus on yourself.

    Answer by AnnaMac at 10:39 PM on Nov. 24, 2009

  • Dude, I am right there with you. I posted something similar to this just yesterday, because I just wasn't built for the SAHM lifestyle. I feel as though I'm losing IQ points being here day after day watching kids shows, singing kids songs, and having absolutely no adult interaction until hubbs gets home. I don't mind the chores so much, and I admit I do love grocery shopping. However, I feel trapped .. daily. I feel like I'm drowning.. daily. I wish I didn't feel this way, because I want to want to stay home. I just know that I would be soo much happier if I were working then coming home to be a mom. I have a poor work history, so the jobs I qualify for would be minimum wage or just above in retail. Nothing that would come close to paying what the hubbs gets paid. Which would mean we couldn't afford our life. Therefore, I have one choice to make 1. be a SAHM or 2 get two jobs, and I couldn't handle too jobs. Too much anxiety.

    Answer by JazzlikeMraz at 11:31 PM on Nov. 24, 2009

  • Honestly no, I have been a SAHM for 23 years and enjoy it. For the 1st 18 I had children home because I homeschooled and for the past 5 my sons have been in school. Well, 2 are in school and 2 are on their own. I stayed busy for 18 years and now I am enjoying things at a slower pace. Next year the boys graduate and then it'll be hubby and I. On his days off we can go out and do things without worrying about my work schedule and in 10 years when he retires I won't still have 10-15 years before I can retire. I don't watch daytime TV and I stay busy with doing things for my family and with spending time with friends.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:55 AM on Nov. 25, 2009

  • Maybe now would be a good time to go back to school. Start with one evening class at a community college. Once you have a degree, you can find a better paying job.

    Answer by rkoloms at 6:37 AM on Nov. 25, 2009

  • I was a sahm for 6 years and while I enjoyed being with my dd I just lost myself lol...I gained over 100 pounds and was just plain old unhealthy.I decided to lose the weight and in turn decided to get back to work.I only work part time,but I am a much better mother because of it,I actually make more than my dh per hour and I work at my dd's school.You could do babysitting or start a business while going to school.Im going to college next year.Dont get me wrong I loved being home and doing all the domestic stuff,but I realized that I was losing who I was in a way and thats why I had to make the neccessary changes and I feel much better because of it.

    Answer by Nattiesmom9603 at 6:50 AM on Nov. 25, 2009

  • YES! I've always worked... tried the SAHM thing for about three months and thought I was going to go crazy... UGH> I feel you should work, that way your husband and you can truly feel like you are both supporting. By being a SAHM at some point and I don't care who disagrees or argues with me, because I have seen this happen over and over, your husband is going to RESENT you because he is the one who is doing all the work. Most of these SAHM's husbands wind up cheating on them with the "office personnel", if ya know what I mean.... because they feel they are professionals and look down upon their wives.... just tellin like it is.... Over and Over...

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:20 AM on Nov. 25, 2009

  • My husband doesn't look down on me for being a SAHM.

    I was an occupational therapist in my former life.

    I am not stressed out from work and travel all week, and we have a high quality relationship because of it, which leaves him little reason to want to screw the bookkeeper, who is 20 yrs. his senior, handpicked by me.
    He brings home 150 K, which is plenty for us and he DOES NOT resent my not working. Now that would be greedy at this point!
    Not all men cheat.
    BTW, I wouldn't necessarily call every office lady a professional.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:16 PM on Nov. 25, 2009

  • If you want to be in control and get out one to two nights a week, perhaps a home business would be good for you. Many of the moms on my team started only to be able to get out one night a week and get paid for having fun. I have a business with Arbonne. I love it!!! My kids are older, however I quit my FT job because it was too much with the kids, taking them to all their activities and such. Now I arrange around my husbands schedule and love it. I do some work during the day and then one to two nights a week I get out and share my amazing products with women that want to lok and feel younger (which is the majority of the population). The income is unlimited. Check out as well as my web site to get further details on the amazing products and business opportunity.

    Answer by marywoz at 8:14 AM on Nov. 28, 2009

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