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Would you be offended if your child/close friend eloped?

So my df and I were planning on getting married this coming Sept/Oct and the more I think about it, with how short of notice we have, I'm not even sure if reception sites will have availability still with only 10 months notice. And we don't have $ to put deposits down right now on stuff. We wouldn't be able to until tax return time, which would leave us with even less time to reserve a reception site, photographer, etc. We are strongly considering just going and signing the papers and getting it legal and then having a reception later on this summer with it being very simple and cheap. I just don't want to offend anyone for not having them present for our actual marriage ceremony, which would be quick and simple (if we choose to just go sign the papers). How would you feel if someone close to you made the decision to do that without having everyone there? I don't want to hurt or offend anyone, but I think that's what's best.

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Asked by Anonymous at 11:41 PM on Nov. 24, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (5)
  • it should be about you and your fiance....just elope and if anyone gets upset, ask them if they would like to pay for you to have a formal ceremony...way too many women spend the holidays and their wedding day worried about making other people happy, which completely goes against what its really all about...spend your life doing whats right for you and everything else will fall in place...if anyone's upset, they'll get over it, i promise...if not, they're probably not someone you really want to spend much of your life around to be perfectly honest

    Answer by LoriaAnn at 12:02 AM on Nov. 25, 2009

  • My family and friends were upset with us for having a small ceremony with just my children and fiancee. His family is trash and tend to ruin things with bad behavior, so I didn't want them there and I felt I couldn't invite my family if we were not inviting his. That was over a year and a half ago and they're still not thrilled. It gets brought up occasionally, but eventually they will get over it.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:15 AM on Nov. 25, 2009

  • who cares? it's not about what others want. It's about you and your SO. If elope and they don't like tell them that they can throw a wedding for you, covering all the costs and time.

    Answer by outstandingLove at 12:23 AM on Nov. 25, 2009

  • Just explain that it is just "temporary" until you can afford a formal ceremony. I know a lot of people who have done it this way. They go to the courthouse and then later have a ceremony, like say on your first anniversary.

    Then again is there any reason that they would have to know you eloped? Or you could just tell them you are getting married at the courthouse, and they can join you there if they feel strongly about it.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:53 AM on Nov. 25, 2009

  • Honestly, with the way things are for almost everyone financially right now, I would totally understand. If it were one of my children, I would like to be there, like a witness or something, but I wouldn't be mad if they did it that way. I would still be happy for them and would enjoy helping them plan a reception.

    Answer by robyann at 9:42 AM on Nov. 25, 2009

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