Wow. DH says I'm to blame for anything ever gone wrong in our relationship. I'm the reason we had to file for bankruptcy, the reason we are always broke, the reason that DH stays unhappy with me, etc. I don't have a job, and haven't had one. I have a 5 month old son at home who I refuse to put in daycare so I can go to a job I can't handle due to mental problems, making just enough to pay FOR daycare. He thinks I am supposed to be Super Mom/Wife. I have mental health issues, including Bipolar 1. I don't understand why he would rather yell at me and accuse me of being a lazy, selfish, horrible person, instead of admitting these are issues caused by my mental illness! Meds don't fix it all. I'm heading toward a major depression here at the holidays because he thinks I'm a piece of crap. I've tried explaining to him that his attitude toward me and my issues are actually exacerbating the problems. What else can I do?
Asked by Anonymous at 2:00 AM on Nov. 25, 2009 in Relationships
Answer by AnnaMac at 2:24 AM on Nov. 25, 2009
Answer by Anonymous at 2:04 AM on Nov. 25, 2009
Answer by Anonymous at 2:07 AM on Nov. 25, 2009
I am so sorry you are going through this! I know I have been there a few times as well. It is much easier for your husband to blame everything on you than to man up and realize he is responsible for his life and his happiness. He is taking the easy way out by blaming everything on you. Try not to take it so hard (I know that seems impossible). Try to talk to him calmly and see if you can get him to have a mature conversation with you. What is done is done. There is no reason to dwell on the past. He needs to figure out what he wants out of life and how to get there. Sitting around and pointing the blame at you is getting him no where, it only provides him temporary relief from his guilt.
Money is one of the biggest problems in a marriage. It seems to me like the lack of money is causing problems everywhere else in your relationship. I have been there too (a lot). I notice when we are low on money our daily life becomes much more stressful. We argue more about everything. He gets depressed and I get mad because he just sits around watching TV while I run around trying to do everything by myself.
Answer by Anonymous at 2:18 AM on Nov. 25, 2009
Answer by AnnaMac at 2:20 AM on Nov. 25, 2009
Answer by NannyB. at 8:35 AM on Nov. 25, 2009
Answer by Anonymous at 6:32 PM on Nov. 25, 2009
Answer by Anonymous at 6:33 PM on Nov. 25, 2009