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Im really sad right now! not a question just want someone to talk too!

Im 23 yr old my father has never been around but he was there off an on for my brother! well i asked my mom last night why my dad didnt want to spend anytime wit me! well one thing was he drank alot but he did have periods of about 6 months that he would stay sober! anyways she tells me that my dad didnt want me an he told my mom that im not his daughter! im very upset i wanna cry! it feels like a piece of my heart is missing now!

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 9:05 AM on Nov. 25, 2009 in Just for Fun

Answers (12)
  • so sad, i am sorry...that's the reason i am worry my 16 years daughter...
    i know i say everything..won't help you...
    best wish hope you getting better
    shirley67

    Answer by shirley67 at 9:13 AM on Nov. 25, 2009

  • I'm so sorry. I always say you can pick your friends but not your family. With an alcoholis as a father you are not missing much. Pick yourself up & move on. Be the better person in spite of it.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:15 AM on Nov. 25, 2009

  • is this true.....or is this something your mother made up to get back at your father...(please don't talk this wrong about your mom) but what kind of mother would do that to their child. i left my ex husband....(he did drugs) i tell my kids they are 2 and 5 that daddy is sick and needs help...but he loved them very much....i would never tell them that their daddy didn't want them. even tho it was his choice he chose the drugs over the family and i left because it was best for the children...she could still have harbored bitterness towards your father ..and is projecting that onto you to get back at him...i am so sorry you are hurting *hugs*
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:15 AM on Nov. 25, 2009

  • Well... can what he says be true? He must have some reason to doubt, right?

    If your mother says though, that he IS 100% your father, then I have to say it's up to you to bridge the gap. He has it in his mind that you're not his and depending on how long ago he felt this way, he probably never formed a bond or connection with you because of that doubt and fear. I think you should try everything you can to form a relationship with him and if he still denies you, then move on. I know that sounds hard to do, but you're not going to be happy until you accept it. It's not your fault, and it's nothing you've done. HE is the one missing out!
    IhartU

    Answer by IhartU at 9:17 AM on Nov. 25, 2009

  • I dont think my mom would make something like this up! the only reason she told me was because i told her i wanted the truth
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:25 AM on Nov. 25, 2009

  • It's really all hear say until your have a serious conversation with your dad. Don't cry over something that might not be true. Reach out to him. All I can say is that what your mother told you is not right.

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:27 AM on Nov. 25, 2009

  • I have a simlar situation in my family. My much older sister had 2 kids. Her first was a girl that she had when she was with her husband and then they split up. A couple years later she had a son and said her exhusband was the father. She said they had sex a few times while they were split up. The father and his and his family never excepted this boy into thier lives. The father died a few years ago and didn't even mention the son in his obituary, just the daughter.
    staceynoel

    Answer by staceynoel at 9:28 AM on Nov. 25, 2009

  • It is hard to say what happened in the past. Maybe they were having bad time in the relationship and she found out she was preg. To him he may have just run and never formed a bond. He may have felt trapped or like your mom used the pregnancy to make him feel guilty. We really cant guess what happened all those years ago. What we do know is that alcoholics dont always do rational things. What your dad does really has nothing to do with you but it has alot to do with his disease. I would encourage you to look up al-anon online or meetings and get some informaiton about dealing with alcoholism. It can effect families so much! Honestly its not like your dad looked at you and who yoou are as a person and ran...he probably was running from responsibility at the time, not you personally.
    ria7

    Answer by ria7 at 9:30 AM on Nov. 25, 2009

  • You are 23 years old. You have made it this far with little contact with your father. Do you really think that you are missing the involvment of THAT man, the man who is a drunk and who has never showed that he cared for you to begin with, or are you upset about the fact that you don't have what your idea of a father is? Honestly, you don't need the man you described as your dad in your life. Having to deal with a drunk all the time is not the type of relationship you want. However, growing up without a father is not easy, either. Perhaps you can talk to someone (professionally) that can help you sort through your feelings right now. It's normal to want a father figure in your life and to want to be loved by your parents. However, no amount of desire on your part will make your father be the man you want him to be. You have to remind yourself that you are worth being loved, and your father is the one that needs help.
    Nummymommy

    Answer by Nummymommy at 9:34 AM on Nov. 25, 2009

  • People say a lot of things they don't rationally think first and just blurt out. Anything she said about your dad is probably just venting that she should save for him, or not say at all. She really needs to go to counseling and rant on and on , vent and counsel until the story runs itself out. She needs to move on. You are too valuable and young... keep saying how it's not about you. Get something done for yourself like your nails, or hair, or a good pedi. And keep talking to positive people. What is nice is if aafter you reached out on your daily vents, to work on a plan of action. Keep your head up, set small and large goals, and nevermind what the family is saying/ or anything, they should have made more time and spent it building their lives.
    If you want to keep your life happy, it's always good to join some group or a craft to keep busy and creative. Keep that sunny outlook.!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:37 AM on Nov. 25, 2009

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