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What should I say or do?

I really like this guy and he likes me but I will not move and neither will he. We live three hours away from eachother and we both have pretty good reasons on why we want to stay where we are at... my family and friends live here, I have a great job and this is and always has been my home and he doesn't want to move further away from his daughter plus he is going to school where he is at. He talks about visiting and asks if I can come visit him too. He talks about cuddling and kissing, going on dates.. he wants to get to know me more so he is constantly asking questions... I just see it as pointless if it's never going to go anywhere. I don't mind talking but I think all the visiting and questions need to stop before we end up really liking eachother and we both get hurt because we can't be together. This just sucks :(

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Asked by Anonymous at 9:36 AM on Nov. 25, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (4)
  • You dont have to figure it all out right now. Its ok to get to know him, but keep your options open and still date locally. If it is meant to be it sounds like you may have to move there cause his daughter is there. You just never know how things will work out but no reason to not get to know eachother over 180 miles between you. Many have overcome a great distance than that for true love :)

    plus sometimes life changes..his ex gets transfered and she moves...u know lots of things could happen.

    Answer by ria7 at 9:49 AM on Nov. 25, 2009

  • It's okay to get to know him. It's okay to visit him. Just keep your options open.

    Answer by JazzlikeMraz at 10:00 AM on Nov. 25, 2009

  • Honestly, please don't take this badly, but I think you should end it. Here's why I say this -

    1) Long distance relationships CAN work, believe me, my dh is in the Navy and there's been MANY times our marriage has been long distance, BUT, at least one, preferably both of you needs to be willing to compromise. If you aren't willing to compromise and work out a difference of 3 hours (there isn't any way you could compromise and both move 1 1/2 hours? I can see him wanting to be near his minor child, but 1 1/2 hrs or even 3 hrs is really not all that far from your family...)


    Answer by sailorwifenmom at 10:40 AM on Nov. 25, 2009

  • cont

    By being willing to compromise we've been able to make our marriage work for 17 1/2 yrs. But my bil was engaged to a woman and they had a lot of the same stuff you talk about - she didn't want to move from where she went to college and wanted to work, he had a house and a job... Neither one was willing to make a sacrifice for the other one, and it didn't work.

    2) You say you guys really like each other, but at this point in the relationship, the early really liking each other phase is where you should be thinking of how you can make it work, not looking for or at all the roadblocks that show why it won't. You're in that rose colored glasses stage where you're sure it's going to be perfect (which isn't always a good thing.) But instead, you're already looking at why it WON'T work.

    These things combined say to me that you aren't THAT interested... In which case, I would just be friends and date someone else.

    Answer by sailorwifenmom at 10:47 AM on Nov. 25, 2009

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