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Not celebrating Christmas, but my inlaws are

I choose not to celebrate Christmas, and I dont want DD to either. (please dont make that the issue of the question.) But since DH's r&r is in the same town, Im going to be flying out on Christmas day (it was the cheapest) and staying with the MIL. MIL and the rest of the inlaws go crazy about Christmas, and I dont want DD to be exposed to it. They are also having a Christmas dinner, which I dont want us to be a part of.
I have told her this, but she insists on pushing her Christmas traditions on us. How do I get out of this? I would leave, but it is cold there, and there is nowhere to go.. everywhere will be closed.

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:28 AM on Nov. 25, 2009 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (9)
  • I don't celebrate xmas either but it would be rude to stay in a person's home and not at least come out of your room and say hello to others. You didn't mention how old your dd is but the high energy of holidays is something that it hard to not expose her to. She'll spend the rest of her life exposed to it so why not teach her what you want her to know about the holidays (and what's going on around her)? Your situation isn't about xmas, it's about showing your daughter how to deal with your beliefs. Show her how to stick to your convictions about the holidays but be respectful to your hostess. Show up for dinner at least. Everyone eats.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 10:34 AM on Nov. 25, 2009

  • Well you want us to not make a issue out of you not celebrating christmas then why would you make a issiue that they are celebrating it. If it is that big of a deal you shoul dhave planned a visit NOT around christmas!! I think it is fine that you dont do christmas but wrong that you are visiting them on christmas so they should not have to stop their traditions cause you have problems with it.
    IMAMOM2-2KIDS

    Answer by IMAMOM2-2KIDS at 10:32 AM on Nov. 25, 2009

  • If I understand correctly you are intentionally going to someone's house during Christams, but you don't want to be exposed to anything related to Christams. It seems to me that your best option would be to visit at a different time. You really cannot expect them to hide their Christams celebration just because you are there, and it will make everyone uncomfortable to have you ther and not include you.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:35 AM on Nov. 25, 2009

  • Well you want us to not make a issue out of you not celebrating christmas then why would you make a issiue that they are celebrating it. If it is that big of a deal you shoul dhave planned a visit NOT around christmas!! I think it is fine that you dont do christmas but wrong that you are visiting them on christmas so they should not have to stop their traditions cause you have problems with it.


    ^^^^
    Exactly what she said. You could have not gone at all. You cannot force someone to stop a celebration you dont want to have. Only way to skip it would to not be there!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:35 AM on Nov. 25, 2009

  • I dont think it kill you for ONE year to put your feelings aside to spend time with your family. Why should the whole family put aside their traditions for you? It's fine if you dont want to be part of the celebrations and you dont want your child to be part either, but its very selfish of you to think they will just pack it all up for the time your there. If you dont like christmas, you shouldnt visit family at that time.
    cassie_kellison

    Answer by cassie_kellison at 10:37 AM on Nov. 25, 2009

  • Spend a couple days at a motel/hotel, even if you have to rent a car and drive a ways to get to one. It's the only logical and obvious choice, since you're making the choice to get there & be there in the midst of their festivities.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:37 AM on Nov. 25, 2009

  • How old is your daughter? Is this visit shortterm or longterm for months? If your daughter's quite young and the visit is shortterm, a couple of weeks at the most, I'd just go and let your dd enjoy the love of her grandparents and family. Yanking her away for a shortterm visit when you daughter doesn't see them often could cause longterm issues within the family.

    While letting her enjoy the love of grandparents etc for a short term visit is just that - short term. You can 'reteach' her at your own home. Tell dd whatever her age that people choose to believe things because of what they know and children follow parents teachings. But children like parents are respectful to one another and understanding we can be nice and be different.

    I battled years w/ mymom about many things. She was controlling, domineering in her beliefs and actions but we lived close to each other. Choose your battles. Wars don't have to be fought.
    lfl

    Answer by lfl at 10:44 AM on Nov. 25, 2009

  • Ok I see where it says your dh is going to be there for r & r he must be military?? I think when you know that they celebrate Christmas you can not and SHOULD NOT ask them to forgo anything that they believe in it is their home by the way and they can choose whatever they want to doing their own home. Iam with the other pp go rent a motel room or just take your dd to the Holiday celebration and let her know which traditions you don't celebrate and why. It isn't fair to her to be around her grandparents and not celebrate with them. I feel for all of youthat don't celebrate there are many other things that you can do. Spend time with dh & dd away from them but you knew they celebrate Christmas when you married dh so you can have 2 choices go and celebrate or go to a motel.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:46 AM on Nov. 25, 2009

  • I really don't see why you wouldn't celebrate X-mas. I am not religious at all. But I have a x-mas tree and lights and I am getting lots of presents for my son. I don't want him to feel left out just because I don't believe in Christ and all that stuff. I celebrate Christmas for the time together with family and for the thoughts of Santa. Don't leave your daughter out of this. Let her experience the good things that comes with Christmas whether you believe in it or not.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:47 AM on Nov. 25, 2009

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