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What to do?

So my son's biological father wants to pick my son up tomorrow evening, and keep him til sunday afternoon. This was fine with me, until I remembered that my SO's mother is taking my son to the derby this saturday... She's already bought the tickets and has been looking forward to taking him for weeks. I apologized when I told his dad, and just asked if he could bring him saturday afternoon. He went off, got mad, and hung up on me. He doesn't pay child support, nor does he have any visitation rights. I know my son would have more fun at the derby then listening to his father argue with his family. I'm never thrilled when he goes to his dad's, but I wouldn't keep him from his father. So I told him it's saturday or not at all this weekend. Am I in the wrong? I feel like a bitty, but there's no way I can tell Tracy that she can't take JJ to the derby, especially after she's bought the tickets.


Asked by momma_marian at 11:29 AM on Nov. 25, 2009 in General Parenting

Level 10 (478 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (6)
  • Youre' not wrong. Sperm does not entitle him to unlimted time with a child he doesn't even bother to help raise, financially or physically. And IMO, picking him up every now and then only to have him listen to his dad fight with his family does not constitute bonding time. I just have never understood the rush to defend deadbeat dads. Your SO's mother sounds very nice spending time with your son like that.

    Answer by wildflowers25 at 2:49 PM on Nov. 25, 2009

  • no you're not wrong. his dad will get over it.

    Answer by mandielynn23 at 11:33 AM on Nov. 25, 2009

  • You did the right thing. He need so bring him back sat. afternoon in plenty of time to go to the derby. His dad sounds like he needs to grow up! Maybe offer and alternate time to his dad like next sat or something.

    Answer by ria7 at 11:34 AM on Nov. 25, 2009

  • If he has no visitation rights assigned through the courts then this weekend don't let ds go. This weekend you don't owe him morally any visitation that day. Tell him that and that he can call you Sunday morning to see if Sunday can be arranged. Think about getting child support from him, it's part of the visitation process. You son deserves to know that his dad always cared enough to provide for him not only to see him no matter the relationship between your so and your ds.

    Answer by lfl at 11:34 AM on Nov. 25, 2009

  • So your boyfriend's mother takes precedence over the boy's own father? That sucks.

    You were allowing him to take his son for a holiday weekend even though he has no court ordered visitation! Bravo!!

    It would be nice if he was willing to compromise...but he only feels as though you're going back on your word. He doesn't care (nor should he be expected to care) about time with NON-family.

    Sorry to be blunt, but that's the way I see it. Sorry she bought the tickets, sorry you forgot and allowed family plans to be made and are not taking them back....priorities.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:21 PM on Nov. 25, 2009

  • Why can't your son be picked up from the dad's and then dropped back off at his dad's? That sounds like a fair compromise to me.

    Answer by luckysevenwow at 2:23 PM on Nov. 25, 2009