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drama before thanksgiving. MIL advice.

so long story short, my mil went through my phone, read mean texts about her, i tried to call and say sorry, she wont answer but shes running her mouth about me to everyone and she will call MY house and leave messages for my hubby saying "i was calling to check on YOU and the BOYS." and so today she calls here and leaves a voice mail saying she will not be attending thanksgiving because she has nothing to say to me and he can call her back.
now i feel like everyone is being forced to choose one or the other. they all told me not worry about it. i offered to leave at a certain or not even come but everyone told me shes just being dramatic and not to worry about it.
what should i do? i am not willing to kiss her butt or make a huge effort to make her happy. she went through MY phone and wont talk to me.

 
MommaWoods

Asked by MommaWoods at 12:55 PM on Nov. 25, 2009 in Relationships

Level 13 (1,103 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (14)
  • Snooping was NOT OK.

    I'd go with what "everyone" has told you.

    And I'd make a point of never texting about anything that you don't want coming back to haunt you. Whether she was right or wrong, there's just some stuff you never put in writing. **smile**
    gdiamante

    Answer by gdiamante at 3:19 PM on Nov. 25, 2009

  • WOOPS! well she had no right at all to search through your phone! why would she do such a thing! talk about lack of privacy! I can see why she'd want to avoid you, but it sounds like you are trying to contact her and talk about it! It's ok for her to let out some steam, but she needs to stop puttng others in the middle and keep it between you and her! I hope things work out! Dont let her ruin your thanksgiving.
    Owl_Feather

    Answer by Owl_Feather at 12:59 PM on Nov. 25, 2009

  • Why was she snooping through your phone!?! Anytime you snoop, you're going to find unpleasant things. She had no right to go through your phone. She should not be offended by what she found. She sounds like my mother in law (oh...poor me...) Blah. Just drop her an email and apologize. Tell her that yes, you do sometimes say things when you are angry with her. But they are things which are said to people who will not repeat them to her. She was never meant to see the messages...but she did because she took it upon herself to snoop through your phone. You can't undo what is already done, but you can be kind enough to extend the olive branch. Once she denies it...it's on her.
    SterlingLegend

    Answer by SterlingLegend at 1:00 PM on Nov. 25, 2009

  • Try writing her a letter, tell her you're sorry it happened but for the sake of your family and the holidays, ask her to set her feelings aside and come for Thanksgiving. She doesn't have to love you (and after this she probably won't!) but she needs to grow up and realize that she is only hurting her son and grandkids acting this way. She shouldn't have gone through your phone, why the heck did she do that?!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:00 PM on Nov. 25, 2009

  • Trust me if you had a bad opinion about her, your probably not the only one. Especially if she pulls bull crap moves like stalking your phone CREEPY!!!!!!!!! Let her stay at home. She wants to pull the OH NO MOM YOU MUST BE THERE card. When its fails she give in
    Jillybeans24

    Answer by Jillybeans24 at 1:01 PM on Nov. 25, 2009

  • You have more right to be pissed at her than she does to be offended at what was in the texts! people have their opinion and looking at what she did with your phone i see why your opinion of her is what it is! Dont let her screw up your holiday and dont kiss her ass!!! You said sorry, and she souldnt said the same for snooping. Tell inspector Gadget shes no longer welcomed around your house until she learns to respect your privacy!
    sweetstkissez22

    Answer by sweetstkissez22 at 1:05 PM on Nov. 25, 2009

  • When you snoop, you're most likely going to find something out you wish you didn't! If you tried to apologize and she won't listen, you've done all you can. She crossed the line by snooping.
    nmmama09

    Answer by nmmama09 at 1:11 PM on Nov. 25, 2009

  • its funny that everyone on here agrees with me about the snooping but she swears it was ok!
    MommaWoods

    Answer by MommaWoods at 1:15 PM on Nov. 25, 2009

  • It so isn't okay that she was looking thru your phone. ask her if it's okay if you go thru her personal items. im sure she wouldn't enjoy that. MIL's are drama starters! I hope you have a great thanksgiving!
    82ndairbornewif

    Answer by 82ndairbornewif at 1:22 PM on Nov. 25, 2009

  • Did she even try to give a reason for why she would go through your phone? Not that there is any excuse but I'm just curious as to why she thinks that was acceptable.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:24 PM on Nov. 25, 2009