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my aunt spoke badly about us and i dont know if .......

me n my twin sister have been close to our aunt , who livesin out native country .
we have been there for her when sh was really ill , we'd all trade calls in our bdays , and nothing seemed wrong until a bit ago , when she told everyone from the rest of the family to not tell us anything . (she said "dont tell the twins or their mom anything that goes on/happens here") im hurt ! the funny thing is that i havet call her for quite a while , and when i did everything seemed to be good .we found out what she was saying because our other aunt told us, so instead of calling her to find out what happened , i opted to ignore hr and didnt call her yesterday in her bday , did i do wrong ?

my sister did call her , but my mom (whom she aslo talked bad about ) told us not to talk to her anymore .

i feel really confused and bad cuz i didnt call her on her bday , but i feel like if i did , i'd be allowing her to disrepect me more

Answer Question
 
happymom1988

Asked by happymom1988 at 12:10 AM on Nov. 26, 2009 in General Parenting

Level 9 (349 Credits)
Answers (7)
  • what would you hve done if you were in my place ?
    my mom tol us not to call her , cuz otherwise we would make things worst and our other aunt didnt want for us to blow her cover ! but we did find out that my aunt was talking about us , and comfirmed taht things werent rumor !
    happymom1988

    Answer by happymom1988 at 12:12 AM on Nov. 26, 2009

  • If by talking bad your meaning saying not to tell others what's going on over there than I don't really think that's all that bad. Maybe she doesn't want you to have to worry about things over there...maybe just talk to her and see what's going on.
    SaraP1989

    Answer by SaraP1989 at 12:16 AM on Nov. 26, 2009

  • by talking bad , i reffer to as saying negative stuff , not really from hidin stuff i would stop talking to her ! lol
    happymom1988

    Answer by happymom1988 at 12:23 AM on Nov. 26, 2009

  • yeah...i wouldnt feel bad about the aunt talking crap about you...there's a lesson in everything. She's gonna eventually wonder why you didnt call her and i would hold your head up and be proud and be sure that you hold your reasoning about it if she does ask.

    there's so much betrayel in my family that you got to know just to not trust a whole lot of NOBODY...like for example my hubby and his brother have been throwing words at each other..well today in church, my son tells EVERYONE in church (on microphone) that his uncle and his dad fights alot...SAD! karma gets you in some way....

    this is just one way that karma got your aunt!
    americansugar80

    Answer by americansugar80 at 12:25 AM on Nov. 26, 2009

  • respect her wishes and let it go. you will feel all kinds of emotions before you accept it. unless your mother will shed some light, you will have to go without knowing the rest of the story. it's hard but possible. unless you feel you can talk to your aunt, then do so and see what you can find out. it's a risk to call her but you have a choice. good luck with it.
    happi-ladi

    Answer by happi-ladi at 10:13 AM on Nov. 26, 2009

  • Call her and confront her. Never go by heresay. It can rip friends and families apart. Call her and ask her what is going on, but don't give away your other aunt as your source of info. Just say you had heard she didn't want your family to know what was going on, and tell her your mother, sister, and you are hurt. Ask her for the real scoop and tell her you wanted her side of the story before making judgements.

    Never cut someone off just because you heard something. Your family could face some serious rifts over a rumor.
    epoh

    Answer by epoh at 10:42 AM on Nov. 26, 2009

  • I am assuming that you are an adult and don't need your mom's permission to confront your aunt. You need to call, email or however it takes to do so but you need to confront her about why she is talking about you behind your back. Tell her that her behavior is hurting your feelings and you want her to stop. If she doesn't then STOP talking to her. I confront people who talk about me or my son behind our backs, doesn't matter who they are.
    tyfry7496

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 10:45 AM on Nov. 26, 2009

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